#fucking up loki in every way possible for my fics <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[unityrain24]

ok but i'm like in love with the concept of the chitauri scepter acting like a drug. and you suffer withdrawals when you are severed from its influence

[bloodiedrogue]

ENRAPTURED

PAIRINGS: Loki Laufeyson & Gender Neutral Reader

SUMMARY: Not matter how hard you try you can't stop staring at Loki's hands.

WORD COUNT: 877

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I literally have so many other fics to write yet here I am writing this fucking thing. Please excuse any mistakes you may see, I wrote this in two hours half drunk after a nine hour shift. Thank you Grammarly, my beloved. <3

MASTERLIST

-

Loki pinches the page the way he touches your flesh: teasing the paper with delicate motions. 

Back and forth, his index caresses the edge of the paper, softly flicking it with a strange sense of impatience as his eyes glide across the page, absorbing every detail. Every vowel paired with every consonant floods his vision as he does this. Every dotted ‘I’ or crossed ‘X’ sits within the pondering of his mind while he strokes and sighs and—

Just watching it makes you sick —disgusted and enraged, and so uncharacteristically jealous, because how could such a simple motion make you feel this way? How could the turning of a page make you so breathless it hurts?

Unsure, you stare as he obliviously flips the page, his fingers twisting and curling in such a way the whole thing feels like a show. A performance meant to rile you up, with every possible angle you’ve known to love set before you. Every tonal shift beneath the dimly lit light pulls you in like a moth to a flame, knowing it’s bad for you. That this God before you is nothing but trouble. And yet, here you are, staring again —longing again.

It makes you realize that Loki feels more like an enemy than an ally. The antagonist to a never-ending hunger you’ll always feel. Like a dealer, he offers you his drug in small amounts. Here and there, selectively bestowing tiny treasures.

You’re almost certain he does this just to get you hooked, to further escalate this idea that he’s the only one who could provide such a service. Instead of a human, he looks at you like some sort of potential customer, his eyes surveying every reaction he solicits each time a transaction is made. 

Meaning, he knows lately you’ve been needing it. An air of desperation has been lining your features for weeks, embedding itself into every pore like a smoke stain on a shirt you can’t quite get out. You need this more than anything, and right now, you’re almost willing to ask him for it.

Almost. 

“I can practically hear your salacious thoughts from here.”

His lips quirk into a smirk, but his eyes never leave the page. Instead, they continue to move, up and down and up again before following the movement of his digits as they figuratively wrap around your throat to steal your air. 

“Can you?”

“Mhm, they’re saying oh Loki, my king —no, my liege— take me with those stunning han—“

“Ew, grow up, Lo. Not every thought in my mind revolves around sex with you.”

Lie. 

“No?”

“Nope.” 

Another lie. 

“At this current moment in time it does though, correct?”

You scoff, knowing this is it. The shift. That eventual, transitional moment of both end and beginning you often feel as you watch his eyes slowly shift towards you —a newfound glimmer of perversity appearing. 

“Tell me, what is it exactly that’s got you all irritated?” he asks, watching you focus on the way he shoves his index finger between the pages of his book to keep his place. 

God, what an actual slut. 

You swallow hard, averting your gaze as best you can. “I’m tired.” 

“Coming from the person who’s constantly napping wherever they can? I highly doubt that,” he quips, leaning in. 

At which point, you can feel his breath hit your face, the suffocating heat pelting your skin as you awkwardly lean back and shrug.

“No, darling, I think something else is the matter.”

As he speaks, you feel the tips of his fingers faintly dance across your cheek. Their presence causing you to bite your lip and close your eyes, suddenly embarrassed at the idea of him seeing you like this —so desperate to be held. To be moulded like clay, melting to the touch of it’s potter. 

“I see the way you look at me sometimes.” His voice, smooth like silk, tickles your eyelids as you fight to keep them shut. “The way you look for me in rooms when you enter them. The way you stare when I perform the most mundane of tasks.”

“I don—“

Before you can finish, he’s gripping your chin, a sudden aggression ripping through his hand as he gives it a tight squeeze. “Shhh —I know you stare because you long for it. My touch.” 

It takes everything in you not to whimper as you open your eyes, noticing that familiar devilish grin sweep across his face. The one that’s all teeth and tongue, taunting you with hellish thoughts of what’s to come as his thumb suddenly glides to line your lips. 

Over and over again, he then traces each one, moving in slow, painful circles, losing his smile to the sudden focus that fills his features. 

“I’m aware of the affect it has on you. The way it empties your mind in an instant. The way it enraptures you.”

All you can do is nod against his hand, disrupting the pattern he’s so easily fallen into as your face rises and falls; never diverting your gaze. Never breathing or thinking or feeling anything other than the end of his index finger slowly wedging itself between your lips, taking sweet refuge on your tongue.

“The way I enrapture you.” 

-

TAGGING: @lovelysizzlingbluebird, @just-someone11, @linaax, @eleniblue, @infinitystoner, @ozymdias, @use-your-telescope, @liminalpebble, @freegardenbanananeck, @lokixryss, @unlucky-number-13, @violethaze, @simplyholl, @coldnique, @mischief2sarawr, @jasperthechaosgremlin (if you’d like to be added fill out this form)

[lunarbuck]

Dance With The Devil (5)

Pairing: mafia!Loki x f!reader (any race)

WC: 5.7k

Summary: You and Loki are running out of time.

Warnings: fear, illness (hospitals), swearing, abduction

A/N: we're getting to the end my friends!! I intended for this series to only have 7 chapters with #7 being the epilogue. We'll see how that actually turns out lol but I hope you enjoy this chapter <3

series masterlist | main masterlist | script | fic playlist

Chapter 4 / Chapter 6

Flower

When you wake up, the soreness between your legs makes itself known. You decide to soak in the bath to ease it, but honestly, you don’t mind how it feels. You enjoy the reminder of what Loki did to you yesterday. 

Something came over him when he was fucking you, something primal and needy. You loved every second of it. You’ve never felt that way before, never wanted someone that much. Just the thought of it sends heat shooting through you. You’re tempted to reach your fingers beneath the water to soothe yourself. Maybe Loki will come barging in again to watch.

You’ve never wanted someone to watch you touch yourself before; you’ve always been quite shy when it comes to intimacy. You don’t know what possessed you not to close off when he made his presence known, but truthfully you liked it. You liked the way he looked at you, the way he so desperately wanted to replace your hands with his.

You sink below the surface of the water, submerging your head, and try to clear your mind. Now isn’t the time to spiral into your fantasies.

That little voice of doubt in your mind has been getting louder and louder since you woke up today. You’ve let your thoughts stray too far. You’ve forgotten why you’re here in the first place.

Loki was going to kidnap your father, possibly kill him, if you hadn’t traded your life for his. 

Your heart sinks as you think of papa. You haven’t been able to contact him, and guilt pours through your chest as you recall the state you’d found him in. 

Part of you wants to think that Griffin would help out, considering he was willing to help you find your father in the first place, but since you made no arrangements before throwing yourself at Loki’s feet, there are no guarantees. 

You decide that today you’ll demand that Loki at least let you speak to your father; if not visit him so you can make sure he is taken care of.

With that, you finish washing and get ready for the day.

When you step out of your room, the mansion is bustling with nervous energy. Loki’s men hurry through the halls, speaking frantically into their phones. You’re barely able to make it to the kitchen without being trampled.

Mrs. Peters greets you with a kind smile, though you can tell she is worried about something as she stirs some sort of batter.

“Good morning,” you say, gathering the materials for a quick breakfast. 

“Morning, dear,” she replies, watching you with careful eyes.

You make your breakfast and try to ignore how Mrs. Peters looks at you. What is she so worried about? “What’s going on?” Mrs. Peters stops her mixing and drops her eyes.

“Just the start of a busy week, is all,” she announces a bit loudly. You raise your eyebrows but decide not to push for more details.

Tense silence settles in the kitchen, and Mrs. Peters becomes visibly uncomfortable with it. “It’s Loki’s birthday at the end of the week.” She says it more to the batter than you, but you hear it anyway. Why does his birthday cause such a strain on the household?

“What’s the big deal then?” Mrs. Peters shakes her head, but you know she will answer.

“It’s not my place, dear…” She pours the batter into a pan and flits around the kitchen, gathering new ingredients. “But this birthday is significant. There’s a lot riding on it.”

Pieces of the conversation you’d overheard the other day come back to the forefront of your mind. 

He’s running out of time.  

“Are there any special plans for Friday, then?” You ask, trying not to sound too curious. Mrs. Peters worries her lip between her teeth.

“No, Loki detests his birthday. We try not to draw attention to the date. Even though this birthday is important, we are doing our best not to dwell on it.” 

How could someone hate their birthday? Though, you suppose if someone is going to hate their birthday, Loki fits the bill. You continue trying to put the puzzle together in your mind as you eat but don’t get far. Loki has done a good job of keeping you in the dark when it comes to his personal business.

You haven’t dared to step foot in the west wing since the night you witnessed him kill the bound man. That doubtful voice has gained confidence, and it makes sure to remind you that you gave yourself to that same man. He has blood on his hands, and you let him touch you. You let him in and allowed yourself to be vulnerable with him.

Your head pounds with guilt and confusion; you’re torn. This angry side of you knows how awful it is that you’ve let Loki get so close. But this other side, this soft and comforting side, knows that you’re only human. Loki is caring; he isn’t cruel to you.

He is such a different man to you than he is to the outside world. Why does he have to make this so hard for you?

You wander through the halls after cleaning up your breakfast dishes, unsure of where you’re going. Your feet lead you to the library, and your chest tightens at the sight of the chair Loki fucked you in. Heat settles in your belly at the thought, making you clench.

Levi startles you with his presence as he pops his head out from behind one of the shelves, and you’re grateful for the distraction.

“Salut, ma chérie!” He coos, tossing himself unceremoniously onto the couch. You join him, picking up a book on your way over.

“Why aren’t you out stressing like the rest of Loki’s men?” You ask, flipping open the book. Levi rolls his eyes and runs a hand through his already slicked-back hair.

“Because I don’t give a shit.” His blunt response surprises you, but you try not to show it. “I think everyone is overreacting. It’ll be okay in the end.” Levi winks as if you’re in on the secret and grins to himself.

“Well, have you seen Loki? I have something I need to ask him.” Levi huffs a laugh while he shakes his head.

“The boss man is holed up in his office; you’re not gonna see much of him anytime soon.” You deflate a bit at that. You can’t really bargain with Loki if you can’t find him. 

You and Levi remain in the library for most of the day, only getting up to find food or hide from Cade, who apparently is on a mission to get Levi to do his job. 

On days like this, it’s easy to imagine that you could do this forever. It’s easy to forget that Loki is the man who holds you captive. This beautiful mansion is your make-believe home, not your prison. How long will you be able to keep up the illusion?

Loki stays cooped up in his office for days, and to be honest, you don’t know what to do with yourself without him. You read, draw, and explore the mansion, but you’re itching for something new. 

It dawns on you that at this rate, the only time you’ll see Loki is his birthday, when he’s bound to be in a foul mood. He’ll probably deny your request the second you say it if he’s already angry.

Well, screw that. 

You recruit Levi and Mrs. Peters to help you with your plan, even though they’re hesitant. You can tell they’re desperate to make the week go well, and if everything comes together how you hope it will, he’ll have a good birthday for the first time in years.

Loki

Though it brings me great pain, I do not see my beauty for most of the week. I spend my days locked in the west wing, pacing, furious. My father’s men are relentless; they constantly remind me of the arrangement and how I have failed to find a bride. 

The mere sight of my flower, that beautiful woman, makes fire stream through my veins. It would be easy enough to force her to marry me, but I have no desire to force her into that. I have done enough to her while she has been captive here. I’ve already taken advantage.

Cade has shown me the files of a few women to marry that my father’s men won’t be able to find an issue with, but I shoot him down. I want no one, just her . She is the only one for me now. I’m ruined.

So delightfully ruined.

Thursday rolls around sooner than I had hoped, and I have not found a way out of my father’s idiotic deal. Why the man had to make my life so difficult from the grave is beyond me, but I know truly he just wanted me to be happy. He wanted me to be able to take care of our legacy.

I have never had friends or companions outside the people working for our family; he wanted more for me. I want to carry on our traditions and be the head of our family’s mafia, but if it means marrying some woman I don’t give two shits about, I won’t do it. I will refuse if it means I can no longer be with my flower.

The rose she gave me all those days ago in the garden still rests on my desk. It has not wilted, and none of the petals show any sign of aging in the slightest. It’s as if she put a spell on it, dusted a bit of magic upon the thing. 

My fingers trace over the stem, feeling the thorns as they threaten to prick my skin. 

An obnoxious patterned knock on my door draws me away from the flower, already knowing who is about to waltz through.

Levi strolls through the entryway, a mischievous gleam in his eye. I don’t like it.

“Good evening, Boss,” he says with a sing-song tone.

“Good evening, Levi.” I turn my attention to my computer. If he wants to say something, he’ll say it, but I don’t feel like poking the bear right now.

“You got plans tonight?” He asks, laughing. He knows I don’t.

I raise an eyebrow in response.

“Well, you do now.” Levi wiggles his eyebrows in a way that makes me feel quite unsettled but provides no further information. He motions for me to stand, and for some reason, I do. 

I follow Levi out of my office and the west wing. As we walk, nerves tighten in my chest. I fuss with my shirt collar and my hair, ensuring everything is in place, but really I just need something to do with my hands. 

Levi leads me into a quiet room on the opposite side of the mansion that I haven’t been in for years. When my parents owned the home, it was somewhat of a study. With my office, I have had no use for it. So when I walk in and see a dining table set for two, I’m shocked.

I walk over to the table and find a simple homemade meal, though I can quickly tell that Mrs. Peters hasn’t cooked it. Levi’s fading steps alert me to his departure, but I don’t bother to say anything to him.

The table has a dainty bouquet of roses as the centerpiece, and it dawns on me who has put this all together. I turn around and step out of the room to look for her when I spot her at the top of the staircase just down the hall.

She looks beautiful; an angel sent down from heaven to save me from this hellish world. I make my way to the bottom of the stairs and watch as my flower descends toward me.

Her dress is long, trailing behind her on the stairs as she walks. Pieces of fabric fall off her shoulders, making her look like a princess straight out of one of her fairytale books. The color suits her skin beautifully, as if it were created just for her. I have never seen anyone or anything more stunning.

I am shamelessly staring at her, and she drops her eyes sheepishly as if she isn’t used to the attention, as if she is unaware of how I have watched her since she arrived. 

My beauty reaches the floor, and I offer her my arm. She wraps her hand around my elbow, her dainty fingers sending shivers up my spine. Up close, I can see the way her dress shimmers. The bodice is form-fitting, showing off her curves, and I can’t help but imagine what it would look like on my bedroom floor.

The two of us walk back into the study-turned-dining room, and I do all the gentlemanly things, like pull out her chair and serve her first. This seems to fluster her, and I can’t get enough of it.

“Do you like it?” She asks, a hint of nerves in her words. The candles on the table create a warm glow, bathing her in soft light. 

“Yes, my flower, this is lovely.” She smiles, and it warms something deep inside of me. I want her to always look at me like this.

“I’m glad. It wasn’t the easiest to set up, but I wanted to do something special,” she says, sipping her glass of wine. I cock my head, thinking about the mess that’s been created by me not having completed my end of the deal with my father.

I must make a face at the thought because her eyebrows come together; she’s worried.

“I know you don’t like your birthday, but it’s not your birthday, so this isn’t a birthday thing. Don’t start twisting it around, okay?” Her words are stern, and a genuine smile plasters itself upon my lips. 

“Well, thank you for the not-birthday dinner. It’s a nice break from all the shit going on in the house.” My flower nods as I return to my meal. I notice her get up and walk to the corner of the room, where she places a record on a turntable. Music plays through hidden speakers, filling the room with new warmth and energy. 

We eat the rest of our food in silence, listening to music. After eating my fill, I sit back and watch her. My flower’s head bobs to the beat, and her fingers tap the table to the melody as if she’s playing the piano. There is still so much I have to learn about her, so many secrets for me to uncover.

As I blatantly admire her, she stands and walks over to me, brushing her hands down the skirt of her dress.

“Loki,” she begins, taking a big breath. “Would you dance with me?” I’m taken aback by her request. Even though we’ve shared such intimate moments, we have never exchanged simple touches. I have never held her in a soft, gentle way. I hadn’t thought she’d want it.

“Of course,” I say, standing beside her. I tower over her, but she does not shrink under my gaze.

If anything, she blooms .

I take her hand and walk her to the more open side of the room. My hands find her waist while her fingers settle on my shoulders.

The piece playing through the speakers is slow, so we sway to it. I lead us in the only dance I know, occasionally twirling her around. Her eyes sparkle despite the dim light, and I practically drown in them.

Holding her so close to me, being able to feel her pressed against me, makes me want to pour my heart out to her. I want her to be here, to be mine, forever. Not my prisoner, not my captive, but mine .

And I want to be hers, to be the one she relies on in this life. Not her captor, but hers . I’ll show her just how much I trust her, just how much I need her.

The piece ends, but she doesn’t pull away. She continues to look up at me, watching my face. I kiss her. It's more gentle than anything we've done together. The way her lips part for me, the feeling of her pressed against me, it's almost too much. But it's not enough all at the same time. 

The soft smile she wears doesn’t fade even as I guide her out of the room and toward the west wing.

When we arrive at the doors, we open them together. With one of her hands held in mine, I lead her down the hall, through my office, and out onto the balcony. The clouds have parted, revealing a sky full of stars for us to gaze at. The air is unseasonably warm, but I enjoy it.

What I actually enjoy is her.

Being out here with her brings me great peace, something I have not experienced before. I reach into my pocket and feel the velvet box I’d put in there earlier.

Her hands rest on the balcony railing, and I bring out the box from my pocket. Inside is a simple silver necklace with a green stone pendant on it. It’s delicate and dainty; I don’t see her as the flashy jewelry type.

“Loki,” she questions. “What’s going on?” I give her a small smile and show her the necklace. 

“Do you like it?” It had been my mother’s, once upon a time. It feels right to give it to her.

“It’s beautiful.” I step behind her and fasten the necklace around her neck, letting my fingers linger on her skin as I brush her hair away.

She looks perfect. The necklace suits her, and I love seeing her in my favorite color.

“My beauty,” I say quietly, trying not to ruin the moment. She looks up at me, eyes reflecting the stars. “Are you happy here with me?” She hesitates, tugging her lip between her teeth. Despite this, she smiles.

“Yes.” Her eyes drift to the town below, and I can tell her thoughts are far away. While I am thrilled that she is happy here, whatever is pulling her away is clearly upsetting her.

“What is it?” I hold one of her hands, rubbing my thumb back and forth over her soft skin.

“If only I could see papa again. Even just for a moment,” she whispers. I reach out my other hand and cup her cheek, turning her so she looks at me. Tears gather in the corners of her eyes, but she blinks them away, not allowing them to fall. “I miss him so much.”

Guilt and disappointment pang in my gut. But I want her to be happy. I want her to enjoy life here with me. I brush over the soft skin of her cheek with my thumb. “There is a way.”

I leave her side and walk into my office. I have surveillance software installed on Maurice’s phone, though I’m sure he’s unaware of it. I pull up his information on my laptop and bring it onto the balcony. 

“What’s this?” I don’t want to explain it to her because I know it will upset her to remember why she’s here in the first place, but there is no way around it.

“Surveillance software on your father’s phone. One of my men installed it a while ago when he started missing payments to us.” Her brows furrow, but I continue explaining what we see on the screen. His location and where he’s been throughout the day, texts, emails, and phone calls.

“Where is he now?” I go to the map that shows his exact location, and my chest tightens.

“He’s at the hospital.” I won’t sugarcoat it; I won’t hide this from her. A notification pops up to indicate he’s active on his phone. “We can call him if you’d like.”

My flower nods quickly, chewing on her lower lip. “Yes, please.”

I pull out my phone, dial his number, and hand it to her. She takes my hand and squeezes it tightly in silent thanks. I bring that hand up to my lips and kiss her soft skin. This will change everything, I already know.

Wanting to give her privacy, I step back into my office. I don’t shut the doors. I sit at my desk and wait.

It feels like forever before she returns. When she comes into my office, tears stream down her face. Her chest heaves with her breaths. I quickly go to her side and place my hands on her face, wiping away her tears with my thumb.

“It’s papa,” she hiccups. “He’s sick; he may be dying. And he’s all alone.” I feel my stone heart crack at her words. My eyes drift around the office as I think about this place. Over the years, the house has become my prison; it only felt like home when she arrived.

I surprise myself by speaking. “Then-- then you must go to him.”

Her eyes go wide. They’re glazed over with tears, but I can practically see stars in them. “What did you say?

I take a deep breath, moving my hands to cup the back of her head. “I release you. You are no longer my prisoner.” A new round of tears spill onto her face as she rests her head in my hands.

“You mean... I’m free?”

“Yes.” The word is a dagger in my heart.

“Oh, thank you.” I watch as her tears leave shiny tracks on her soft skin. She turns her attention to the phone in her hand and speaks to it as if her father can still hear her. “Hold on, Papa. I’m on my way.” Her words are solid and sure despite her tears.

Her fingers move to grip her necklace’s pendant before finding the clasp at the back of her neck. She begins to remove it, but I place a hand over hers to stop her.

“Take it with you, so you’ll always have a way to remember me.” She sucks in a shaky breath and nods.

“Thank you for understanding how much he needs me.” I swipe my thumb over her damp cheek, unable to form a response. 

She slowly steps out of my grasp and turns to leave. Just as she steps away, she reaches out her hand and places it on my cheek. Her lip quivers, but she does not speak.

I watch as she rushes back into the house and out of my life.

Levi and Cade move out of the way as she runs past them. They both walk quickly to catch up to me while I step onto the balcony.

“Well, Boss,” Levi says excitedly. “I must say everything is going according to plan. I knew you had it in you.” He claps me on the shoulder, but I do not turn to face him. Instead, I stare out at the land in front of me.

“I let her go.”

Cade scoffs. “You what? How could you do that?” I should scold him, reprimand him, but I can’t. Not right now.

“I had to.” My words must convey my feelings, my heartache, because he backs down.

“Why?”

“Because,” I say quietly, watching as my flower makes her way across the driveway. “I love her.”

Cade and Levi stand in stunned silence before leaving me to my thoughts. I don’t even notice their exit, too focused on what I have lost.

It is impossible to tear my eyes off her as she runs. She is bathed in moonlight. It washes over her in an ethereal way, making her look as if she were created from the stars. She doesn’t look back when she makes it to the front gate. She keeps moving.

She runs away from me, from everything I have given her.

Though she leaves her possessions behind, she has ripped my heart out and brought it with her. She clutches it between her little fingers.

As much as I yearn to follow, as much as I wish I could chase after her and pull her into my grasp, I am rooted where I stand.

I cannot move; fate will not have it. Destiny has leashed me, tethered me to this spot.

A strange peace washes over me as she fades from my view, melting into the skyline.

She will never truly leave me. Even if I never see her again, she has a piece of me, and I her. I will never forget it, the moments spent in her embrace, no matter how I may try. No matter how painful it may be.

Her stubborn nature, her laughter ringing through the air, it will be part of me forever.

I do not move; I barely breathe as I wait. I know she will not return, but I cannot convince my heart of this truth.

I take my first step when the sun begins to rise, and the moon has fallen. My bones ache, screaming at me to wait just a few moments longer, but I quiet the thoughts. 

I find my way to my room, seeing the ghost of her in the corridors. Her footsteps pressed into the carpet, her fingers trailing the trim on the walls. I step into the room I’d given her when she first arrived. The blankets are still rumpled from the last time she slept on them. No one has changed them.

As if in a trance, I find myself climbing into the bed, surrounding myself with her smell.

It hasn’t faded yet.

I pull the blankets around me and tug the pillow from under my head, clutching it to my chest.

My heart aches for her as I bury my head in the pillow. In this moment, I know that she will torment me forever.

I wonder if I will torment her.

I hope so. 

Flower

You run until your legs feel like jelly, and then you run some more. Despite feeling like you're about to collapse, you push and push until you get to the hospital. It's a miracle that you didn't pass out on the way.

When you arrive, a woman directs you to your father's room. Relief washes over you as you walk into the room and see your father lying on the hospital bed. 

"Papa?" You ask gently. He stirs from his sleep, and his eyes shoot open when he sees you. "It's all right, Papa. I'm here."

Tears pool in your father's eyes as you sit beside him on the bed. You carefully wrap your arms around his shoulders, not wanting to cause discomfort.

"I thought I'd never see you again," he whispers.

"I missed you so much." Beneath the smell of hospital, you find the comforting smell of home. 

"But, what about Loki… How did you escape?" You pull away and shake your head, wiping your father's tears from his cheek.

"I didn't escape, Papa. He let me go." Your father's brows pull together skeptically.

"That horrible man– he let you go?" You cringe at his words and the way your father eyes the beautiful dress you’re still wearing. Even though you probably should’ve changed out of it, you find comfort in knowing that Loki got it for you.

"But he's different now, Papa," you explain gently. "He's changed somehow." Your father shakes his head, but he's not denying what you're saying. He loves and believes you, but it might take time for him to understand.

A sharp knock on the door startles you and your father. A man you recognize as Jack Rollins, the one who attacked you all those nights ago, barges in along with four other men dressed all in black tactical gear. 

Before you can even call for help, they pounce, dragging you and your father from the hospital bed and onto the ground. Fabric is shoved into your mouth, which is then duct taped shut before you're hauled up by one of the men. Your father receives the same treatment, and you thrash against the man holding you.

The men carry you and your father out of the hospital, and no one, not one single person, does anything to stop them. You had no idea Jack and whoever he works for are so powerful. They throw you into the back of a van, binding your wrists and ankles to prevent your escape and drive away.

When the car finally stops moving, you’re pulled out and dropped on the ground in an old lot with only a freight container in it. You try to take in your surroundings to figure out where you are, but you have no clue. Nothing around here gives you hints about the location. Everything is happening too fast; your brain doesn’t have time to catch up.

A fleet of black SUVs pull up to the lot. Out of the first one climbs Griffin.

Bile rises in your throat at the sight of him. He was supposed to help you find your father; he was supposed to be one of the good ones. You should’ve known that his golden retriever personality was a façade. 

Griffin walks toward you, concern written all across his face. He reaches down and picks you up, untying your binds and carefully peeling off the tape from your face. The second your hands are free, you push him away.

“What the fuck is going on?” You shout, tossing your gag onto the ground. Griffin places a hand on your shoulder, and you shrug him off, hating the way his hand feels on you. 

“I’m so glad you’re safe,” he says, getting close to you again. This time, he grips your arm so hard you think it’ll leave bruises. 

“And to answer your question,” a new man says, approaching you from where he’d been leaning against one of the cars. “We’re here to collect you and your father.” The man is tall, but not as tall as Loki, with short chestnut brown hair.

“Collect?” You size up the new man and try not to show your intimidation. You can tell just by looking at him that he’s wealthy. His clothes and shoes are high-end. He’s practically broadcasting how rich he is.

“Yes. Collect. My name is Helmut Zemo. You and your father are of great value to the Zemo Family. With your help, we can take down the Laufeyson Family permanently, ridding this town of his filthy ways.” Your heart practically stops beating in your chest. 

That night Jack Rollins had tried to take you was because of Zemo. He’s trying to take down Loki using you.

“I won’t let you,” you say, trying to sound more confident than you truly are. You have no idea how you’ll stop them. 

“He’s an awful man,” Griffin says from beside you, using his grip on your arm to turn you back toward him. “He’s done despicable things.”

Helmut pulls his phone out of his pocket and comes closer. He hands you the phone, and you see footage of Loki beating up a man and then killing him. Over and over, but each time, it is a new man on the receiving end of Loki’s fury. Levi and Cade are there, throwing punches and assisting their boss.

This is the side of Loki you saw that night in the west wing. This violent version of him is the one that killed the bound man. 

You’ve always known Loki is not an angel; he’s done awful things in his life, but you know he would never hurt you. And he’s changed. He’s kinder to his staff. He just seems… better.

Your voice catches in your throat at the sight of Loki in the footage. “I know he seems vicious, but he’s kind and gentle.” Your heart tugs in your chest. “He’s not the beast you think he is.” The men around you burst out in laughter, Griffin the loudest of them all.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you had feelings for this monster.” He rips the screen from your hands and stares down at the image of Loki.

“He’s no monster, Griffin. You are!” You spit the words at him like fire, trying to burn him.

Griffin turns to the men around him, an incredulous look on his face. “She’s as crazy as the old man.”

Helmut leans down in front of you, so you have to look into his eyes. “Loki had no issue taking you; what makes you think he won’t come for other women? Other daughters? He’ll come after them in the night like the boogieman.” His voice is calm, so eerily calm. 

Your eyes flit from man to man, hoping to see something, anything to show that they don’t believe any of the shit he’s spouting, but all you see is them nodding. Agreeing with Griffin and Helmut’s lies. “No,” you whimper as Griffin’s smile grows, stretching across his face.

“We’re not safe until his head is mounted on my wall,” Griffin spits. “I say we kill him.” His voice sounds nothing like him; this is not the Griffin you thought you knew.

Helmut’s men cheer and laugh at the announcement. 

A few men approach Helmut, who switches the screen from old footage of Loki to blueprints of the house. They exchange plans on how best to infiltrate the house, how to make his death slow and painful. 

A sob wracks your body at their words. “No! I won’t let you do this,” you shout, drawing Griffin’s attention back to you. He pulls you toward him, so you land on his chest, and you push against him, forcing him back a step. He just laughs at you.

“And here I thought you could be so helpful.” Griffin grips your chin and squeezes it like you’re a child. “If you’re not with us, you’re against us. Bring the old man.” Griffin grabs your upper arm again, and you claw at his grip. It is no use. As you fight against him, you see Helmut grab your father, dragging him toward the freight container. 

“Get your hands off him!” You scream, voice laced with pain. Zemo and Griffin throw you and your father into the container and bolt it shut before you have the chance to even stand.

“We can’t have them running off to warn the beast,” Griffin taunts, knocking loudly on the metal container.

“Let us out!” You scream, but no one responds.

You set your father free of his binds, instantly able to see that he’s in pain. 

“How will we get out of here?” Your father asks, rubbing his wrists where the binds had been.

“I don’t know, Papa. I don’t know.”

please message me to be added to a taglist! must be 18+

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[iamanartichoke]

I am posting this mostly to get it off my chest, and I'll probably regret it, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I think the biggest problem I have with Fandom Wank(tm) in regards to positivity or negativity, is what bothers me has literally nothing to do with whether one's positivity/negativity will turn out to be right.

last night I followed a couple of posts and went down a rabbit hole of "series negativity" bashers' posts, bc apparently I hate myself and do not wish to be in a good mental space right now, and the common thread I noticed is that those who are overwhelmingly positive and take issue with criticism seem to be doing so bc they see their own versions of Loki being portrayed on-screen, either as how they've interpreted him as a character in generral or as how they've written him in fics. And not only are they fiercely protective of those versions but they also get validation from the confirmation that their Loki is The Right Loki(tm). Criticism takes the on-screen portrayal (and, subsequently, their own personal versions of The Right Loki(tm)) and says, uh, I can't actually see Loki doing this? I think this is ooc? I think Loki as portrayed here is not consistent with previous portrayals? -

- and suddenly you've got this rabid backlash on your hands where it becomes 'omg stop being toxic,' 'your headcanon is not canon' (look in the mirror), 'this is tom's loki so it's accurate,' 'i see no difference whatsoever in characterization y'all're just deluded and have invented a loki that never existed' (tf????), etc.

And I can't help but conclude that the backlash against criticism/negativity has nothing to do with the criticism itself; it's more to do with the undermining of someone else's validation in how they view this character.

This is purely speculation. There's some mental gymnastics here, admittedly. I could be way off base and I realize that I risk my post being shared and misconstrued and mocked by even posting it publicly. But the only reason I'm writing this - and thus getting it off my chest after my spiral down the rabbit hole - is bc from my point of view, I didn't feel like my experience in enjoying this tv show was being threatened until the discourse backlash over the negativity started spilling onto my dash. Not the negativity itself; the actual discourse. (And, look, there's a lot of negativity that's been posted that I don't agree with whatsoever, and there's other negativity that I may agree with but don't agree that it's an issue, or - my point is, this isn't bc I don't have conflict with the actual arguments themselves.)

Full disclosure: for the first three weeks, I was more positive than not regarding the show. (I think I still am.) I posted about what I liked but I also posted about what I felt was ooc and about the elements I liked less. A lot of my mutuals are not thrilled (to say the least) with the show, so there was already a ton of negativity on my dash and I personally went through a few minor meltdowns on whether or not I was on the right page with my enjoyment when so many others (whose opinions I trust and whose versions of Loki [that I've read] in fic ring true to me) were not sharing that enjoyment.

I did/have been talking it out with friends who feel similarly and I've more or less come to terms with being in the middle. And in the meantime, when I felt like the negativity was not something I wanted to be cognizant of, I skipped those posts entirely. Doing these things allowed me to come to terms with where I was standing regarding my overall feelings on the series, and overall enjoyment with my fandom experience.

And then, mostly after episode 3 (which seems to be the most divisive so far), discourse started popping up on my dash more and more. I'm defining discourse, in this context, as 'wank regarding whether or not Loki is actually ooc, wank over people who enjoy the show not wanting to see the negativity, wanky posts asking people who are critical to reserve judgement until the show has finished airing (but praise is fine)' -

- and suddenly, I feel much more self-conscious about posting my takes. Suddenly I feel much more anxiety about hitting the "post" button when said post is more critical than not. Suddenly I am worried about who, exactly and actually, is reading my posts? Who is going to decide to paraphrase my takes and include them in a 'guess what they're complaining about NOW' post? Who is going to decide to pass around a post I've made only to mock it, as has happened to some of my friends already?

Over the past three days, I have gotten 30+ new followers, and instead of feeling good about it - hey, some of these may be porn bots but still, people are interested in my blog?! - I feel just increasing anxiety about it bc, I mean, I don't know who anyone is or what they're here for.

I do not feel secure in the current fandom environment, is what I'm saying, and the reason I do not feel secure is not because of the negativity; it's because of the wank coming from the people who post about the negativity and mock the negativity and call other fans deluded stans who have a shitty grasp on characterization, story telling, and Loki in general. It's Ragnarok bullshit all over again, only worse.

And this circles me back to my original point, which is that the anxiety and the wank/discourse and whatever else really has nothing to do with the on-screen portrayal of Loki.

For me, personally? It took me awhile to realize it, admittedly, but I did realize that I do not care if what I perceive as ooc actually isn't. I do not care if the final product of Loki - once the entire series has aired - is a different Loki than what I've written and perceived as "my" Loki all this time. It's not going to make me feel like less of a fan or less valid; it's just going to make me feel like I have a perception of Loki that may differ in some ways with "canon Loki" but is still similar enough that I will continue to enjoy engaging with him and writing meta about him and writing fic about him and sharing those things with people who view Loki similarly. Likewise, I am not going to feel less valid as a writer and a critical thinker; it doesn't make me feel like I have anything to prove.

So if the root of the wank is coming down to the negativity making you feel less valid or less vindicated bc "your" Loki matches the show but is being called ooc by a lot of other fans, like, maybe take a step back and consider not taking it personally? Maybe really think about why the fact that negativity exists bothers you so much? Bc I mean, at the end of the day, it's not like Tom Hiddleston himself is going to descend from the clouds with a choir of angels singing and acknowledge any one of us as The One True Fan Who Has The Best Interpretation Ever of Loki. So what actual difference does it make if (we agree or disagree that) he's ooc or not?

Ultimately I'm just saying, there is definitely wank that is ruining the fandom atmosphere and the show in general, and it's not coming from those who are posting their negativity and criticism of the source material.

*Disclaimer that this is how I am perceiving and interpreting things today and possibly in general, but I'm not necessarily saying that my perception is factual to what is actually happening. I don't know what is happening. This is the guess that I've come up with in order to reconcile the fandom discomfort I feel, discomfort which is ruining the show for me, and where it's all coming from.

** Second disclaimer that I have unfollowed those who were participating in the wank, if I was following them in the first place, to the point that it made me uncomfortable, and obviously this post doesn't apply to everyone bc there is a certain amount of just being tired of it that I understand, so if we're mutuals, this doesn't apply to you regardless of where you stand on the wank.

*** Third disclaimer that said fandom environment is what makes me feel like I have to add disclaimers on every fucking thing I say, partly bc people read what they want to read and partly bc I have very debilitating anxiety regarding being misunderstood.

[kinnoth]

What's your take on Thor Ragnarok? What's your take on Thor's development within the MCU so far?I'm a fan of your posts and tags!

GREAT QUESTIONS THANK YOU FOR ASKING, THANKS FOR BEING A FAN

tldr I """"like"""" Thor's canon development now bc I've done some fucking Olympic grade backfilling and contortion to recontextualize the canon to make it meaningful, but this results in me living in my own pocket universe of an interpretation where I can't really interact with other people bc they don't subscribe to my exact reading of canon

But bro I LOVE Ragnarok. I know that can be a controversial take (I've read the meta of people who think it "slaughtered" Thor and Loki's characterisations), but I just thought it was so much fun! Like on a movie watching experience level and on a lore/meta level, it's FUN. That's not something I can say for 95% of marvel movies, which are nigh universally too dimly lit and too reliant on hateful sarcasm between characters as a substitute for a relationship.

On a meta level, I 1000% subscribe to the idea that the entire movie is a retelling that Thor is preforming for his refugees, so it's a heavily edited, exaggerated, and sillier version of events meant to keep everyone's spirits up. On the point of lore continuity, I really appreciate that thor3 makes CANON and EXPLICIT Odin's campaign of imperialist violence behind his "peaceful" reign over the nine realms, I FUCKIN LOVE IT. I LOVE the context Hela gives to their family, because she makes canon and explicit Odin's disappointments in Thor. I LOVE that Mjolnir was Hela's weapon before it was Thor's because Mjolnir was never meant to be a metric for moral goodness or readiness for rule, but a metric for a colonialist's commitment to imperialist violence on behalf of an empire WHICH IS WHY IT FINDS CAPTAIN AMERICA WORTHY BUT NOT LOKI

(btw if anyone else can draw a line between Hela and Steve Rogers that is a. representative of Odin's priorities and b. includes Thor but excludes Loki, hmu, bc this is the best I got.)

(Mjolnir rejects Thor in thor1 bc Thor was trying to conquer Jotunheim for personal glory and doesn't accept him again until he starts thinking about the good of the empire again by protecting Midgard, an imperial asset. Mjolnir rejects Loki bc Loki is a not an imperialist in service of an empire)

Off topic but I know a lot of people get hung up on Thor leaving Loki paralyzed in the parking garage, potentially to be found by the grandmasters dudes? Like people say that was unaccountably cruel and ooc for Thor. But like, ok, they killed everyone on the way up, and Thor knows his armed gladiator rebellion is on his heels also headed for the parking garage, so I dunno, I never read it as Loki was in any particular danger? But I'm a notorious Thor apologist as well as a Loki apologist so 🤷‍♂️

Things I also love: loki defunding the military to spend that money on art and infrastructure, Loki's live action thorki fanfic that Asgard unaccountably loved, Loki stonewalling Odin's attempt to reconcile bc fuck Odin, Thor's lightning powers, Bruce banner is now a Jewish grandma, Hela have I mentioned Hela love that girlboss, Jeff goldblum love that wiggly man, the Valkyrie love that angry girl, "piss off ghost", inglorious deaths for all the warriors 3, "I'm here" (screaming, crying, shaking), the story about how Loki bit Thor as a snake as well as the confirmation that they are in fact the same age

I have complicated feelings about Thor's canon development tbh. On a very ground floor sort of reaction, I despise what they did to My Boy in infinity war and endgame. I think it's a disgusting character assassination and I don't think the russos understand humour and specifically how to use humour to expand on tragedy like what thor3 did.

On the other hand, if you've read my fic and meta, you'll know that I've accepted the canon development, bc at this point, I've done a LOT of very deliberate and concerted labour to MAKE the canon development we see between thor1 and endgame WORK. But, like, there was a LOT of labour that I, specifically, put into it. It fully relies on me specifically doing a lot of digging and reaching and mining these movies for every possible frame of content to the point where I am pretty sure I've put more effort into making all the development make continuous sense than any of the screenwriters put into the actual development.

And I think I've probably just drank too much of my own Kool aid but like, I am in a position now where I do think my interpretation of Thor's character development is THE most complete and accurate reading of his character development. Key to these points are: a) I think he is an ex-imperialist who is currently and actively trying to deprogram himself from the colonialists' mindset that Odin instilled within him b) he is trying to deprogram himself from Asgard's culture of extreme toxic masculinity wherein he was not taught to have any sort of emotional processing that did not involve physical violence c) Loki is/was/always will be the person he loves best

So like, as I try to show in my thorki canonverse fics (shameless plug for myself), I can make most of the bad decisions made about Thor's character in infinity war and endgame work if I recontextualize all of his canon actions with my own (well supported, well documented) headcanon'd baggage. Of course he goes on a death wish mission to get revenge on Thanos -- he has a literal deathwish bc he was already supposed to die with Loki. Of course he sinks into an unshakeable depression afterwards -- he has no identity now that he has no family bc he was never taught to live by himself or for himself. Of course he leaves new Asgard and abdicates his rule -- he hasn't wanted a hand in the dirty business of Empire ever since Odin's ambition got his mom and brother killed in thor2, and that hasn't changed. I try to make him go through all the canon-implied feelings and anxieties and doubts in front of the reader. My entire goal of this is that people read my shit, then look at canon and think "oohh that context DOES make it better!" I will be gratified if that is the case.

(The only thing I cannot fix is the bit in endgame where Thor walks past Loki's Tupperware cell and the narrative doesn't come to a screeching fucking halt as Thor has so many feelings that he has some sort of paralytic breakdown where he simultaneously wants to commit Time Crime (tm) so he can just stay here forever and also wishes he could just die here, next to loki, like he was always supposed to. Like, that needed to happen to really lynchpin all of my work together into one smooth, problem free reading, but I'm not allowed to have nice things so)

(oh also I didn't like Thor calling frigga "mom". Shouldn't it at least be "mum"? I think "mother" is best tbh, bc I don't really read them as having that sort of relationship, see "toxic masculinity", see also "homosocial socialisation")

(and ok I get that it was a nice moment for Thor to call the hammer back to his hand, and I get that it even still works with my headcanon that mjolnir finds Thor worthy still bc Thor is defending the imperial asset that is Midgard, but like God damnit. The uncritical and unquestioning use of that word "worthy" when he catches the hammer again. Like worthy of what you guys? Do you ever ask yourself that question bc I very much do. I kinda wish they didnt bring it up at all, or if they did, it didn't come back to Thor's hand and he is just like, wistfully, "that's all right, I suspected as much. I'm such a different man now, mjolnir doesn't recognize me. I don't think I'd be alive right now if I had been the same man I was")

Wow that got long, anyway, thanks for chatting with me! Again, always a pleasure to field asks!

[trillgutterbug]

Fic Writer Questions!

tagged by @palamedessextus 😊 thanks friend!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

64! only five more to the magic number ayyyyy and then i’m legally obligated to never post another one.

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

289,575 apparently??? which seems way way way higher than i ever would have guessed, wow. who knew!

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

31 on ao3, although that’s lumping, eg, all marvel subfandoms together. but i have a ridiculous amount of wips in all kinds of other fandoms that i haven’t/won’t post, soooo.... more than that! and i don’t want to list them all bc that’d be a long boring read!

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

it serenely disdains to destroy us, a magnus archives fic that, i somewhat vainly note, has been orbiting in the top few top kudosed fics in the tag since i posted it womp womp.

concerning flight, because we all thirsty for thor/loki+gender and i for one support us.

untitled porny snippet (yes that’s actually what it’s called), because same as above. (i see u, kudos-to-comment ratio and i aint mad but.... i see u. all you dirty birds out there shamefully yet silently jerking it. kudos to YOU.)

an experiment in posthumous subsistence, a batman/joker zombie au i wrote fucking TEN YEARS AGO ALMOST. why???? why is this fic so popular?? i’m barely a good writer now and i sure as shit wasn’t one a decade ago! the terrible title alone should disqualify it from being read, but i guess the people want what they want. and what they want is batman and joker handcuffed together, trying to escape the zombie apocalypse  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

all good things, some stucky hydra trash party-adjacent smut regarding piercings. i stand by this one 100%, it deserves every kudo(s?) tbh.

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

i do, depending on the comment! i don’t think comments like “loved this!” / “thanks for writing!” are written with the intent to receive a response (or at least, when i write them on other people’s fics, i certainly don’t expect one). they’re like an extra kudo(s?), and i appreciate them a lot, but they’re not really an invitation to Discuss. whereas if someone clearly has put a lot of thought into a comment, or asked a question, or made some observations that i jive with, or just seems like they want to engage, then hell yeah i jump in there. love that shit. 

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

i guess arguably thine own self, which is some hydra husbands abo. laugh all you want, it’s one of my fave of all my fics lmao. probably specifically bc of the unpleasant/open ending.

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

probably moderation is a memory! since it, unlike 99% of all my other stuff, isn’t just total smut, and the whole point of writing it was to wallow as deep as possible in the sauce of giddy teenage infatuation, it got the opportunity to have an actual emotional arc (more or less). furthermore i could not possibly bring myself to break johnny lawrence’s tender little heart ever, that would hurt me far more than it would hurt him.

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

i only realised while answering this question that apparently.... no i don’t write crossovers! which is not at all a deliberate choice, i guess a compelling enough one just hasn’t occurred to me yet! 

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

shockingly no! by some accidental miracle i’ve managed to fly under the radar so far, despite some of the really buckwild stuff i’ve posted. however, considering some of the stuff i’m probably ABOUT to post.... that clean track record might soon come to an end lmao.

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

lmao. uhhhh. almost exclusively, and i guess??? all kinds? this is clearly a question composed by someone who does not write smut.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of, and i wouldn’t really care if i did. 

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

yeah i think a few....? a number of people have asked anyway and i always say yes, so probably there’s at least one floating around out there somewhere.

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have! just once, and we really made it count. it’s called a reptile dysfunction, which should tell you all you need to know. 

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

thorki, probably. i always have and always will come back to it, no matter what. it’s got such a ferociously timeless staying power and so much potential variation, i don’t think i could ever get bored of it, regardless of what level of marvel-exhaustion i might feel at a given time, or what tropes, kinks, or stage of literary pretension i’m at. truly the oh tee pee. 

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

ohhhhh all 836575927 of them, but. there’s this one thorki fic i started almost ten years ago as an experiment with a new-to-me style, which turned out over the intervening years to become my main style, and looking back on that fic, which for many years was a touchstone of writing-to-aspire to for me, it’s actually Not Very Good lol. but i still love the core concept, which is a canon divergence berserker thor au, but not only is it a somewhat inaccessible (admittedly less so since the deadpool movies came out, which was a hilarious pipe dream back when i started writing it) x-force comics crossover, but i wrote myself into a bunch of corners and have yet to dig up the energy to write myself back out of them! i go and reread it every year or so and think “hmm... maybe now...” but tbh it’s just not really good enough to bother! perhaps someday i’ll repurpose the best elements of it into something new.

16) What are your writing strengths?

man, it’s so hard to say. in much the same way that you can spend hours every day staring at yourself in a mirror, yet be utterly incapable of picking yourself out of a lineup, i spend a lot of time eyeballing my writing, but stepping back it seems like a chaotic mass of nonsense with few cohesive throughlines. i’m good at writing smut, i know that much! and in that vein, i think i am good at smut bc i am very good at committing to the bit, as it were. getting into the nitty gritty of experience and sensation (physical or emotional) and rendering largely abstract internal concepts in fairly comprehensible ways. i think my prose is quite decent on a sentence level too.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

utterly incapable of finishing anything! or plotting anything! can’t mange a cohesive emotional arc! write myself into overly structured corners or out onto a vast plain with no structure in sight! all the macro elements of storytelling totally elude me, which is very frustrating when i have all this tasty fleshed out micro-level character stuff, but no narrative skeleton upon which to drape it.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?   don’t! unless you are very sure you know what you’re doing, and the other language bits are a) very few, b) easily contextually understood, and c) actually adding something other than a weird flex that you know google translate exists.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

11yo me wrote spock/kirk/janice rand and thought she invented the concept of a threesome. brand been stronk since day one 🤘. (the vulcan salute is right next to the devil horns in my emoji list, so....)

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

i love the (ongoing) better with you series very much, not least because i’m still absolutely flabbergasted that i wrote something that long. i think it’s actually pretty good all things considered and it’s very dear to me on many many levels. but the fic that i just viscerally adore, that i love the style of, and that i had such a transcendent, invigorating, organic Experience writing, is temper its strength, adding honey until quite cold, which is a terror fic with the inexplicable pairing of edward little/hartnell, featuring crossdressing and gender stuff. it just burst out of me fully formed one day and i don’t think i’ve managed to top it yet! 

lowkey tagging @lingua-mortua @pitcherplant @kaasknot @froggy-babyy @deputychairman @nomercyonlytears @clockheartedcrocodile

[lokitrashfan]

Benefits // part 3

A/N: It is long but I think that this fic will only hace two or three more parts. I don't want to make it longer. Leave a comment if yo like it and check my masterlist!!

Words: 2300

Warnings: NSFW , SEX, cursing, torture

After two days of tedious interrogation, they let you go. They let you return to your room, free from the handcuffs at last. - Shower; pijamas; food; food; water; sleep- That was your list. You had been two days in a chair. No water, no food and no sleep. That was their torture. And something worse was yet to come. They would be vigilant. 

Food won when you passed the kitchen and smelled something cooking in the oven. You almost run, as exhausted as you were, anything other than crawling was considered running. Vision was in the kitchen, but he said nothing as you started to eat anything edible you could find. 

“Hope you don’t choke on that” A too well known voice said behind you. Loki appeared with an emotionless expression and an empty cup. You cast a murderous look and continued eating. Vision put a glass of water in front of you and went on with his cooking. 

After you felt more or less full, you headed for your room. You were still hungry, but knew that if you stuffed yourself with food after starving the only thing that would happen is vomit. 

Shower; pijamas; bed.

A knock on the door. one that you knew too well. It wasn’t the middle of the night. It was not his way of doing things. You opened, he entered. 

“What are you doing? Someone could see you. And sorry, but the only thing I want now is sleep.”

“I’m not here for that. Just wanted to tell you that I am glad I don’t have to search for a replacement.” He fell silent, watching the purple below your eyes, how you were a little bit skinnier, your arms limp by your side. “Are you okay?” 

The words had escaped his mouth before he could stop them. He saw that the question had taken you by surprise. It was not something that he had ever asked before. You got defensive.

“Like you care” You said, opening the door for him to leave.

“I don’t” He said leaving “But, just to your knowledge, the other day… It hurt my pride that you left without saying a word. No even thank you. These are not good manners, dear. Even more after rejecting my invitation to a second round.”

“Loki….” You were too tired. “Just leave” 

He was already gone by the time you said it. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Loki tortured himself over those three stupid words that had escaped his mouth without warning. Are. You. Okay. Idiot. He did not care how you were. You were alive, no need to find someone else to satisfy his needs. That's it. But he had asked. Maybe because deep down he cared the slightest bit for you. No. He would not care about you. Just no. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Days passed and he did not come again to your door. You left your room as little as possible. Being alone was better than being surrounded by people that claimed to be your friends, but did nothing to help you. 

Also, the magnificent tracker on your ankle had been updated. Now it was more discreet and did not annoy you as much. And now it tracked every movement you made. Not only if you left the tower. It tracked your movements inside the tower. You would not risk that whoever controlled your movements saw you going to Loki’s door. So you just waited. If he wanted to come he would. 

After two weeks, things began to change around the tower, the avengers, the oficial Avengers, were preparing for a mission. That meant that you and Loki would have to stay at the tower. Alone in the floors where you lived. The lower floors would be full of people and agents going on with their lives and work as always. 

They did it before, leaving you and Loki alone, and you had enjoyed the time spent together. You two knew all the blind spots of the cameras. But this time, it was different, you could not be trusted. They still weren’t sure which side you were on, and SHIELD was watching you closely. 

The day the avengers left, Loki came to your door. He was eager. As you opened the door he kissed you with a new hunger. As if he was tired of waiting. He kissed you with so much rage and passion that left you breathless. His hands on your hair held your face to his. 

He finally broke the kiss just to start undressing you. His lips met the bare flesh of your neck. He kissed, sucked and bit all he wanted. You wanted this too. You wanted him to make you forget everything. To clear your mind of all worry. 

He unbuttoned your pants with impatience. Your hands went to his chest below the thin t-shirt. Something was different in the way he moved, but you did not care. You wanted everything to be as before the mission. You wanted to be fucked into oblivion.

His hands were fast. He was already touching you thought your underwear. He let you take off his shirt and his pants, but then he just tossed you to the bed. You tried to get up, you wanted to suck his dick, you wanted to play with him, but he was in no mood for games. 

His fingers were inside you, moving in ways that made you shiver. His other hand kept you from moving too much.

“Are you going to punish me?” You said teasingly. You knew that Loki had an exceptional libido. He liked sex a lot, and when he was denied and had to pleasure himself he grew angry. And now he was. In his eyes you could only see lust, rage and a hint of madness. 

“I’m not here to play games,” He said. Low voice. 

He put his dick into you with no warning. This time he did not play with you until you begged. He just wanted to fuck you. You had only seen him like this once, after a rough fight with his brother. He had came to you in the middle of the night to fuck his rage off. 

He fucked you with all he had. He was strong and hard. His hand left bruises everywhere they touched. He came quickly, a caged moan escaped his lips. And he stopped. You were on the verge of the orgasm and he stopped. He just let himself collapse in the bed next to you. 

“I’m not finished” you said annoyed. He had never stopped until he was sure you had finished. He always made sure of it.

“sorry” he said looking away “I just needed this” 

“But….” You were unsure how to say it. You needed it too. 

“Just let me rest, we can do something after” He mumbled. 

You felt the rage coming to you. How could he come, fuck you and leave you unsatisfied. YOu got up and got dressed, he was already drifting to sleep in your bed. He had never done this. You had to get out of here or you would kill him. 

On your way to the kitchen you tried to calm down. He had never acted like this, but after all, it was just sex.

That was what Loki was thinking when he came into your room earlier. Just sex. No feelings. No care. No relationships. 

It had been a couple of rough weeks for him. You were always in your room, never coming to him. Even if it was just a couple of weeks, he felt that something was not right. He had not seen you since that stupid question. Even when he went off his usual day just to see if you were around. He had found himself looking for you. 

That made his mood unbearable, he was restless and annoyed and angry all the time. That's why he came to your room the moment the Avengers left. To reassure himself that it was only sex. To fuck you only for his pleasure, even if he left you unsatisfaied. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Finishing your coffee you thought about what had just happened. Loki was still in your room sleeping. You had to talk to him. Say that he couldn’t treat you like this, just a toy when he wanted sex. But a part of you knew that those words carried more meaning. Your deal was just sex. Sometimes because you needed it, and sometimes because he needed it. 

If you started to think about it you would go down a scary spiral of thoughts. What was really bothering you? That he left you unsatisfied or that the way he looked and fucked you meant that you were nothing to him? 

Trying to clear your mind of Loki, you went to the living room to watch tv. It would be better if you just let it go. 

Someone was sitting on the couch. Someone new that wasn’t supposed to be there.

“Who are you?” you said with an edge to your voice, ready to kill. Even if all you had in your hands was a mug, you could turn it in something deadly.

“Agent Four, I’m here to keep an eye on you and Loki while the Avengers are gone”

“A babysitter? That’s new”

He just looked at you and let out a smile. You took a seat opposite him, to let him know that you weren’t friendly. But as time passed you found yourself looking at him more than you wanted. Something about his face made you wonder. 

He was the opposite of Loki, he was all the things that you never thought of finding attractive, but you were captivated by him. His soft lines, his curly hair…

“I’m sorry if it’s a little awkward, I don’t really think that I should be here, but I have no choice” He said with innocence in his eyes. AN innocent you were ready to believe. 

“It’s okay, I understand why you are here, I’m not trusted anymore” 

“Yeah… I suppose, it’s a shame that you are being treated that way” He scratched the back of his head. Maybe he was nervous. Everyone became nervous around you. 

“Well Agent Four, I will try to make this as easy as I can” You knew that you weren’t easy to be around. And it was something that you wore as an armor. But you didn’t want to make him nervous. You didn’t want to make his work difficult.

“You can call me Ravi, no need for formalities. I think we are going to spend a lot of time together” He smiled at you and his eyes lit up. 

“Just call me Ghost, it has become my name around here” Even if you felt that que was sincere in his words, your real name was something that belonged to you, just you. No one knew it. You had given names, but never the real name. Not even Loki knew it.

“Okay my new friend with a strange nickname that makes me kind of scared” he said laughing, genuine joy in his eyes. “You want to do something?”

“I’ll just finish my coffee and get a shower” You hadn’t cleaned after sex and now you felt too dirty, Loki’s scent still lingering in your skin.

“Okey. While you take a relaxing bath I will cook something for lunch. Believe me when I say that you will be blown away by my super delicious, not store bought spaghetti.”

He was sincere, maybe he thought that he was funnier than he really was, but you found yourself smiling at his suggestion. 

“A relaxing bath sounds really good” You said, in a voice more welcoming than you had intended. 

“Oh and… Could you tell Loki that I’m here? I know that he doesn't like strangers” His hand was scratching the back of his head again. You didn’t like strangers either, but you kind of liked this stranger. Also you knew that Loki was in your room, and that he would stab first, ask later.

“Yeah no problem. But don’t worry, he likes to be alone all the time reading, he won’t be much of a problem” 

You headed to your room with the feeling that you had just made a friend. It was difficult to accept but you had talked with Ravi more in five minutes than you had talked to some avengers in two years. It felt good.

You walked into Loki still naked and sleeping in your bed. Waking him up with a soft kick was always funny

“Get out of my room, I’m going to take a relaxing bath and I don’t want to see you around when I finish” Your voice was severe. You were still annoyed at him. 

“Maybe I could join you…” He said teasingly. Your low parts were screaming for a yes, seeing him naked made you lose your mind sometimes. 

“No,” you said looking away. “I want to have a pleasant bath” You weren’t going to forgive him so easily for leaving you wanting before. “And… just for your information, we had been assigned a babysitter, he is in the living room, try not to stab him. He’s nice”

------------------------------------------------------------------------

As you entered the bathroom Loki felt something move inside him. He could just enter behind you and make you lose your mind with his body. He knew that in a minute you would be begging to be fucked. But he left. He wanted you to scream his name again. To make you surrender. To make you his… 

But he left. 

The way that you had described the agent put him in a bad mood. Not your words but your face as you said it. -He’s nice - Your eyes trying to hide something. 

He went to his room and took a shower. A really long shower. Once he got his thoughts organised he could go to meet the excuse of a man that had been assigned to them. - He’s nice- Again your words resonated in his mind. Why did it affect him so much that your eyes said more? Maybe attraction. Maybe you liked that agent. 

he’s nice

[aahsokaatano]

King I would love that essay about Changing Channels

Fjdjshjdhdjd thanks for reading my tags Jesse you're the real VIP here.

Okay SO "Changing Channels" is the 8th episode of the 5th season of Supernatural. I give this information bc it's important in looking at the context of the episode - now I've complained a LOT about how SPN is terrible at giving us canonical timeframes within the episodes (y'all i was SHOCKED to discover the first season is supposed to cover a little over a year's worth of time, I thought it was like... 4 or 5 months) so I can't say for sure how long before and after the other episodes happen in-universe around "Changing Channels" BUT

The episode before is "The Curious Case of Dean Winchester" where Dean and Bobby bet years of their lives in a game of poker with a witch. The episode after is "The Real Ghostbusters" where Sam and Dean end up at a fan convention for the in-universe Supernatural novels.

Why am I pointing this out? Because it's important, please, no audience participation, this is like a Brian David Gilbert panel.

[under a cut bc this got...... STUPID long. Who knew I still had this many opinions about SPN in 2020?]

Okay first of all I wanna talk about the cinnamon topography of this episode - I love the way the first 5 seasons are shot because you really feel the americana gothic horror aesthetic they were going for (I have a whole ‘nother rant about the first 5 seasons vs the last 10 but thats for another time). Everything is a little washed out and grey-toned, the camera angles generally serve to make Sam and Dean appear even taller than they actually are (larger than life - again, another post for another time), and there’s honestly a LOT of shots from the ‘monster’s’ perspective, which is really neat! I’ve said it before (on another blog - YES i have a dedicated spn rant blog, don’t @ me hdjfhfjfh) but the episode that really got me hooked on spn back in the day was the second one, about the w*ndigo. Yes, it’s a racist, culturally appropriating shitstorm, but the way its SHOT is fantastic. I’m honestly not a horror fan, but that episode could have easily relied on jumpscares and they DIDN’T and it was scary as all fucking hell and just - fuck okay getting off topic. 

In “Changing Channels” we get that distinctive grey-washed tone in the beginning and the very end of the episode, but the middle? When they’re in TV Land? Everything is bright. Almost comically so, I mean - okay look at these two shots of Sam (apologies about the crappy phone pics, netflix won't let me screenshot)

This one is from the start of the episode, in the "real" police station

And this is from a little later in the "TV" hospital

Ignoring that my phone is washing him out a lot in both pics, you can still see the warmer tones in the hospital shot as compared to the cold greyness in the police station one

Okay, now look at this picture

Dean inside the Impala, and those warm tones are back. Why? Because even though Sam and Dean believe that they’re back in the “real” world, they aren’t - so instead of the grey-washed shots that we’re used to, its the bright and warm shots that we see in “TV Land”! So the viewers pick up, even if its just subconsciously, that the boys aren’t out of the woods yet - everything is still too bright to be the in-universe reality we’ve come to expect from SPN by season 5

Which is also why i love this shift so much

These shots are literally SECONDS apart. The first is in "TV Land" and the second is in the "real" world. I have some red strip lights behind my bed, which are reflecting off my laptop screen - notice how much brighter they seem in the second picture? That’s because literally all of the warm colors have been drained out of the shot. As soon as Gabriel snaps them all back into “reality,” things get so much colder.

Okay, so the second thing I want to talk about is some of the very pointed dialogue choices within the “shows” the Winchesters take part in. Not between Sam and Dan and Gabriel, but from the, for lack of a better term, NPCs within the shows.

In the hospital, Dr. Piccolo tells Sam that he is “the finest cerebrovascular neurosurgeon I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So that girl died on your table; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. Sometimes people just die.” Standard cheesy soap opera dialogue - but lemme just swap some words here and - 

“You are the finest hunter I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So that girl died on your hunt; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault. Sometimes people just die.”

Or even - 

“You are the finest hunter I have ever met - and I have met plenty! So Jessica and Mary died above you; it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anybody’s fault [but Azazel’s]. Sometimes people just die.”

Keeping in mind that the NPCs are basically Gabriel’s mouthpieces, its easy to see why so many people ship Sabriel. I’d actually love to see a fic that explores them talking about this moment in particular later on and the kind of gentle forgiveness that Gabriel can give Sam... getting off topic again.

In an abrupt about-face, the herpes commercial (much meme’d within the fandom) is straight up Gabriel shaming Sam. Because if you replace “genital herpes” with “demon blood” it’s.... dark. And very intentional.

So that’s what I did! (I combined all spoken lines to make the message easier to read, rather than splitting them up across 3 speakers as in the episode)

“I’ve drank demon blood. I tried to be responsible... did I try. But now, after being forcibly detoxed, I fight my addiction every day to reduce the chances of passing back into that toxic mindset. Ask your loved ones about a demon blood intervention today. [...] I am doing all I can to slightly lessen the chance of drinking demon blood again. And that’s a good thing.”

Like... the subtext throughout this episode sure is. Something.

Okay this is getting ridiculously long so I wanna wrap up by talking about The Best Scene In The Whole Goddamn Show

I’m talking, of course, about Gabriel’s Confession

“Max,” you might be saying, “there are so many better scenes out there, even within the first five seasons!” and to that i say, again, no audience participation, please. Also, you’re WRONG and here’s why!

Gabriel’s confession hits every goddamn emotional chord that the fandom begged for on this show - fear, rage, grief, pain, guilt, and even, yes, absolution. 

Okay, here’s the scene again for those of you who don’t think about it at least once a week like me

Now this video is missing some of the conversation, but most of it is there, enough for you to see what I’m talking about. Gabriel up to this point has been, essentially, a nameless antagonist - this is the third episode he appeared in, and before this, we didn’t even know he was going by Loki. He was just referred to as ‘The Trickster’. But here, not only do we get a name (a real name at that), but we also get a glimpse of his backstory and a hell of a lot of character development in less than 5 minutes. I mean, Sam didn’t get this much character development throughout the entirety of season 1! There’s a good reason Gabriel has been a fan-favorite for a very long time, and I think a big part of it is this particular scene.

Because here, we get to see Gabriel being vulnerable. And we even see Dean show a little vulnerability, as he can empathize being the third party to explosive arguments between the two people who mean everything to him.

I mean... okay, it will never see the light of day, but I wrote a little bit of a Reverse ‘Verse fic (because I’m a sucker for Reverse ‘Verse) and this was the scene I started with. Not s1e1, not even the resurrection in s4e1, but this scene. Because this scene, more than any other, is critical to the way not only Gabriel’s (first) arc plays out, but also to how Sam and Dean conduct themselves for the rest of the season (and maybe a bit beyond, it’s been a hot minute since I watched s6 and later). Dean is angry but determined, he has a point to make, he is going to save Sammy and if he can’t do that, then he’s going to damn well die trying. But Sam... it’s after this episode that we start really seeing how bone-achingly tired Sam is. It’s after this conversation - where one of the other archangels, one of the few beings who can truly understand how powerful Michael and Lucifer are - says that there’s no other way around this that Sam seems to start inching towards giving in. Saying yes.

Sure, in the actual episode, he seems outraged by the idea, practically scoffs at it - “you want us to say yes to those sons of bitches?” - but it’s after this where Sam really seems run down.

I mean, look at the episodes before and after (HAH you thought I forgot about that first point I made at the very beginning of this post! I did, briefly, but I’ve circled back to it, thanks for being understanding). In “The Curious Case of Dean Winchester,” Sam behaves much as he did since the start of s4, which is to say, ‘annoying little know-it-all brother tossed into the middle of the apocalypse and just trying his best’ and it works well for the mad scramble for any scrap of information that’s happening in s4/early s5.

But in “The Real Ghostbusters” it’s different. This is another funny meta episode - except, while Sam and Dean are technically aware of the joke, they aren’t as amused by it as the audience is. And it’s not because of the ghosts. It’s because they’re just... done. Especially Sam. Dean has that nice little moment with the cosplayers at the end of the episode, but Sam... threatens to shoot Chuck. Sam ‘goes darkside’ more often than pretty much any other character in the show, but that moment is different. It’s a flat promise, not a threat. He’s not being an asshole, like he is after losing his soul. He’s just... done. And it’s obvious to see.

Gabriel’s confession is the turning point for Sam in s5, and it informs a lot of his behavior through the rest of s5, and possibly beyond! Like I said, I haven’t watched past s5 in a very long time, so I don’t feel confident enough to analyze that specific sort of character line, but I feel confident in saying that hearing one of the most powerful beings in the universe basically say “it doesn’t matter what you do - your destiny is unavoidable” and then he’s proven right (Sam says yes to Lucifer, and Dean eventually does say yes to Michael down the line!)... like, that’s really gotta fuck up your world view that was built on free will and throwing off the shackles of fate. Sam managed to avoid his ‘destiny’ in s2... but then it turns out that that wasn’t ever his destiny. Lucifer was his destiny.

Talk about an obscured view of the inner self.

[aurorawest]

"More about his kinks? His rich history of sexual assault and how that messes with him? His hang-ups around physical attraction and emotional attraction? Something else that I’m forgetting to list?" ALL OF THE ABOVE! Seriously, if you wrote an essay on each topic I'd def read it, LOL, I'm so on board 🥳

I’m so sorry for taking forever to answer these. I felt like I wasn’t really giving the topic the due it deserved—I still think I could say more, and say it better, but here’s what I’ve got for now!

TW for talk about general sex stuff and sexual assault.

Section 1: Who is Loki attracted to?

Loki is bi/pan (not a label he would apply to himself, but I’m going to use it as shorthand). This is something he’s known about himself since his early adolescence. He probably was more aware of being attracted to women, just because, you know, heteronormativity. I head canon that queerness wasn’t totally accepted on Asgard when he was young, but there was a wide range of opinion and there were certainly many people that were totally accepting (amongst them, his family). And by the time of the MCU timeline, my hc is that attitudes are largely accepting. So young Loki is aware he’s attracted to men, and he’s willing to pursue that, but he’s still nervous about making it widely known. A lot of that is tied up with not feeling like it’s Asgardian enough, it’s not the kind of masculinity that Asgardians seem to prize. 

My personal head canon is that Loki has been attracted to more men than women.

Section 2: When is he attracted to them?

I sometimes think that I sort of head canon Loki as demisexual (again, not a term he’d use). I see Loki’s libido becoming further and further separated from his capacity for emotional intimacy as he gets older. He gets to a point where he almost never feels attracted to someone unless he’s got that emotional connection...but he doesn’t like admitting to an emotional connection. So he’ll be like, ‘Oh, I just think he’s hot, no biggie. He just pops up in my sexual fantasies all the time, exclusively actually, and I regularly get off to the thought of him undressing—but it’s just physical! I don’t actually like him!” Like he’s fully aware that for other people, this is a thing that can be true. But it’s not true for him. In order for him to be really sexually attracted to someone, he has to have that emotional bond. Which again, he’ll deny. It’s a really healthy emotional cycle.

Section 3: Idk if it’s really sexuality but his genderfluidity

So again, I don’t think genderfluid is a term Loki would use to describe himself, and I also don’t think it’s quite the right word to use to describe what he is (just my personal hc, I of course do not have any issue at all with other people using the term to describe him). I definitely have Loki’s shapeshifting as part of his character, though I write him in his male form 95% of the time for a number of reasons, some of them related to canon, some of them more as a personal response to fanon. That’s out of scope for this ask, haha. I write him as identifying as male in his male form and female in her female form.

Section 4: Compartmentalization of sex as separate from emotional intimacy

Loki views sex, and his body, as a commodity. It’s another tool in his arsenal. He sees it as diplomacy, as a way to get what he wants, to save his life, whatever. He can and will use sex as a bargaining chip.

It’s maybe as a result of this, or maybe the other way around, that Loki doesn’t really feel sexual attraction to people unless he’s already got an emotional connection. He’s completely compartmentalized these two aspects of intimacy, to the point where he really fears the emotional intimacy that would lead to him feeling actual sexual attraction. Because he sees sex and sexual attraction as something he can control, it’s the less scary of the two. So sex is preferable to love. With sex, he can be in control (or tell himself he’s in control) of the situation, in the sense that he has consented to it in some way. But love? He didn’t consent to that. He doesn’t want to feel that. He can’t stop himself from feeling it and he can’t control who he feels it for.

Section 5: Sub/Dom?

I covered this in an earlier ask but I might as well talk about it again! My Loki is very very sexually submissive most of the time. Likes being put in his place, controlled, held down, told what to do, etc etc. He can be dominant sometimes, if the mood strikes him, but his preference is to be submissive.

Related to his nervousness around coming out, Loki very much felt like as the prince, as an Asgardian Man, there was like...a right way to have sex. If he was going to have sex with men, he was going to top. Only top. And he was going to be dominant about it. He had to be in charge, even though this really didn’t come naturally to him. So in his early sexual encounters, that’s what he did, even though it wasn’t what he wanted. This led to him having a lot of unsatisfactory sex as a young man, haha.

He also spent a decent portion of his life being ashamed of the kind of things that turn him on, because again, he thinks it’s bad optics for who he is.

Section 6: Kinks

My Loki isn’t Kinky™, he’s actually pretty vanilla. His favorite position is getting it from behind, and his second favorite position is missionary, and if he only did those two things for the rest of his life, he wouldn’t have a problem with it. He does, however, have kinks, and they are: authority and humiliation. This is kind of where the ‘very very’ comes from in ‘very very sexually submissive,’ ha. He likes feeling degraded, he likes being ordered around. Dirty talk is good, and preferably he’s being told about how bad he’s being and how he needs to be punished.

Caveat with this, which leads into my next point: he only really likes it if it’s with someone he loves. Because...

Section 7: Those kinks have fucked him up!

So part of me can’t help but think that the reason I see Loki with an authority kink is because of his daddy issues, haha. He pretty clearly has a deep need to please his father (not sexually, ew), and I think he then ends up being drawn to powerful authority figures. Thanos and the Grandmaster come to mind. I don’t head canon that anything sexual went on with Thanos (though I could be pretty easily persuaded to write some fucked up fic about it happening), but I absolutely head canon that stuff went on with the Grandmaster.

My head canon is that the Grandmaster was trying to get into Loki’s pants pretty much from the moment Loki showed up in front of him—constantly flirting, way too handsy, orgy invitations, parties with drugged drinks, the whole shebang. Loki was able to get away with not actually having sex with him, though, and always holding it out as a possibility in order to stay in the Grandmaster’s good graces. But when Thor and the Hulk fight in the arena, Loki offers sex in exchange for Thor’s life being spared (I have a fic about this, it’s called Lacuna). The sex is...not good for Loki. There’s definitely BDSM involved, and he is not into that. The Grandmaster rapes him. Repeatedly.

And...Loki is into humiliation and authority. So when he’s degraded and humiliated by the Grandmaster, and he gets off, he goes into this shame feedback loop. This is the kind of thing he likes, and if he likes it then there’s nothing wrong with what happened to him, and he put himself in the position anyway, and if he climaxed then it wasn’t assault, etc etc. He gets this way about non-sexual situations as well; like he definitely feels he deserved what he got with Thanos, and that he deserved to die on Svartalfheim because he feels responsible for Frigga’s death. He has this way of pushing blame off himself and never taking responsibility for his actions...until he does, and then he blames himself for everything.

Section 8: Yes I head canon Loki has a rich history of sexual assault

Oof, guys, Loki has been assaulted so many times in my head canon. His first experience was as an adolescent, where he almost gets gang-raped by two security guards. There were definitely other dubious to nonconsensual experiences in pre-Thor 1 times.

There are some traumatic times after his Fall:

He does some time at the Kiln, and he allows a prison guard to pretty much do whatever he wants to Loki. Loki uses this to escape.

Eventually, Loki ends up getting captured and sold into slavery. He ends up in a sex trafficking market, where he’s raped repeatedly, including gang-raped. He’s heavily drugged during this time to keep him from escaping but still has some memories of it. This is where the Black Order picks him up. They repeatedly remind him that they ‘saved’ him.

Then, of course, there’s the aforementioned stuff with the Grandmaster.

Section 9: Not that he'll ever call it that

Oh yeah but Loki will never in a million years call any of this ‘rape.’ In almost every assault, he’ll tell himself that he actually never said no, so actually, he was in control. He could have stopped it, but he just didn’t, because of Reasons. So it’s not rape. He had it under control. He did. Seriously. There’s no trauma.

He just tries not to think about the time in the sex trafficking market because he can’t really contort that into anything but what it was. If he has to think about it, usually he figures he deserved it.

I mentioned this in an ask recently, where I think one of Loki’s deepest fears is losing control. I think he really fears losing control over a situation, but his biggest fear is losing control over himself. In my hc, Loki really feels as though his grasp on his sense of self is tenuous at best; that he isn’t in control of his own mind (hello, Mind Stone, you didn’t help); that he might just do something that he didn’t plan or want to do. You know that feeling you get where you look at a window and think, What if I just jumped out? Loki really, really fears that feeling, because he’s not sure he can stop himself from actually following through. And stripping him of his bodily autonomy with sexual assault is just another way to fuck him up. Having him deny what it is because he’s so terrified of losing control adds a delicious layer of toxicity to the whole brew.

Section 10: But I still think he's capable of finding The One and having a great sex life and an unbreakable emotional bond

Having said that! Loki’s sexual trauma doesn’t actually hamper his ability to have sex. It does hamper his ability to fall in love, because falling in love is another form of losing control. I think that he could definitely get triggered by certain sexual things, but of course, I write him with Stephen, who is basically the kindest, most considerate lover ever, haha. I talked in another ask about how Loki’s humiliation and authority kinks, coupled with his lack of communication skills, lead him to expect Stephen to be a mindreader, and to just kind of...do the stuff that Loki wants him to do. But of course, Stephen isn’t going to do something that could actually cause Loki physical pain without being explicitly told to do so and receiving Loki’s enthusiastic consent. But Loki doesn’t want to communicate! Loki thinks it’s hot to just get ravaged.

My fic is about a lot of this stuff, not necessarily explicitly the sexual stuff, but a lot of the issues that are bound up with it—the control issues, the attraction to authority figures, the difficulty forming emotional bonds. Through the course of my main series, Loki is really picking away at getting better about all of this, and the endgame, of course, is that he’s able to accept being loved, and loving in return.

I feel like I didn’t articulate any of this as well as I wanted to, but I didn’t want to let this ask sit in my inbox forever, and I’ve been picking away at this now for like two weeks. So, I hope that was a satisfying essay! I could probably go on tbh, but I’ll leave it at this.

[veliseraptor]

Top 5 Loki-centric fics! (By other authors, because yours are too good and that would cheating :)

Lord I don’t even fuckin’ know. I’ve read so much Loki fic and bookmarked 335 fics tagged with him, which isn’t including the WIPs I’m subscribed to. That’s a lot of really good fic to choose from.

It’s too bad I can’t sort my bookmarks by kudos or whatever so I could check which ones are underread or whatever. What if I confined myself to ‘completed multichapter (more than twoshot)’ maybe that’ll help? And didn’t do ‘verses?

god this was hard, though, and I know I’m leaving stuff off. went for some older ones I thought new people might not’ve read, too.

1. The Hangman’s Hands by Mercurie. This is an old classic that I haven’t reread in a while, but it’s definitely one of those “epic, defining fics of the Loki fandom” things. It’s especially notable for its great use of Jane, and one particularly memorable whump scene that I think about a lot and referenced obliquely in another fic of mine. It’s just very well done. Intricately plotted, and well constructed, and so, so satisfying. Also made me cry at least once that I remember off the top of my head.

2. Every Moment We Teeter by NamelessDragon. Okay maybe technically cheating on my “no ‘verses” rule here, but the other one is just a short oneshot and I really wanted to include this one because it’s one I’ve reread a lot recently and is so perfectly tailored to my tastes. There’s horrible whump and repetitive death experiences and suicidal deeply fucked up Loki, a fantastic Valkyrie, and the whole thing is just. [kisses fingers] excellent.

3. No Such Liberty by Xparrot. This is another one I think of as an old fandom classic, and I haven’t reread in a while, and really should. It’s dense, and plotty, and really well done, and I just remember being both super impressed and also kind of envious of the quality of both the writing and the plotting. Great Thor and Loki, and the choice to just use Thor’s POV and make Loki’s actions more opaque was an inspired one.

4. Maybe You (and your sad blue eyes) by alby_mangroves. This is marked as part of a ‘verse but it’s the only one that’s there and it’s been a while, so I’m going with it as a standalone. I just reread it recently and...god, so many feelings. One of my favorite Steve/Loki fics out there that I didn’t write, and probably the only soul-mate AU that I’ve read and loved this much. Also there’s gorgeous art, too. This fic makes me wish the author had written more Steve/Loki. (They did make art for me for an exchange, once.)

5. Screaming Mute and Seeing Blind by Nonymos. I’m so picky about my Clint/Loki fic, and I don’t find a lot of it that I like, and this is easily the standout for me (that’s completed, anyway - there’s the one in progress that I love love love possibly even more). It’s dark - fair warning - but it’s dark in a perfect way for both characters, and yeah, it’s just. So well done, and so vicious in the way that these two should be vicious. Fantastic fic.

Bonus: Jacob and Esau say their goodbyes by LadyCharity. I haven’t read this one in years because I know it will gut me and I haven’t felt ready for it, but if you’re down to suffer (and I mean, really suffer, major character death suffer) it’s absolutely worth it. LadyCharity’s writing is always stellar, and her pain is always really good pain.

Honorary mention of Bargaining by proantagonist, lost to the internet, which remains one of my favorite fics of all time.

[maggyme13]

Sugar (9/?)

AN: I apologize for the long wait, but I had neither dthe energy (due to a lot of work), nor the motivation (caused partly by the missing feetback /reblogs on this story- sometimes I realy think what I wrtie it not worth much) and the lacking of Ideas (writers block sucks big time, so please let me know what you think will happen ;)) But here it finally is, the 9th chapter of my Sugardaddy Loki fic.

and THANK YOU to all those lovely readers that reblogged and let me know what they thought^^

Masterlist

Sugar- Masterlist

Part 8

Ignoring the disgusting presence of Ego and Puppy, you tried to enjoy the meal.  And you did; well most of the time.

“Were you able to get everything you wanted and needed to?”, Loki asked you with interest.

“Yes, though not every thing was buy able in your stores or the ones Bucky brought me to at first. We had to drive to one of the big Walmart like stores to get the rest.”, you answered preparing the next bite on your fork.

“Really? And what was it that you couldn´t get.”, the man frowned.

“Basic clothes, to wear while in the flat.”, you hummed, “Well, there were some to buy in your stores, but those were not really comfortable, there was something wrong with the feeling on my skin.”

“I will keep that in mind. Has Barnes informed you about the security measures we will install tomorrow?”

“You mean the safe word? Yes, I am already thinking about which one I could chose. I have no idea.”

“Oh save word? That is so useless and over rated. Where is the fun in that?”, Ego suddenly chuckled and your eyes turned big, “ you see, my girls let me do everything I want. You should try it Laufeyson. There is nothing better than fucking just the way you want with no one to care about.”

Excuse me. That is disgusting -

“I like my companions to be their own persons and not holes to fuck.”, Loki almost growled.

“Suit yourself.”, the man shrugged and returned to play with Puppy beneath the table.

“Loki-”, you breathed  no able to mask your disgust.

“Mariella, we are leaving. Please send the check to my office. Heimdall will transfer the amount we own with tips. And please pack two kinds of each dessert you offer for me to take with us.” , the CEO stated while standing up and pulling the chair back for you.

“I will see to it Mr Laufeyson. I will send someone to your Apartment as soon as they are finished.”, the hostess offered a smile.

“Thank you Mariella. Mr Quill, I fear we have to continue our business in a different way and on a different date.”, that were the last words he spoke before guiding you outside.

“Barnes will drive us back. We will meet him somewhere, I need some air after this.”

“Yeah.”, you hummed, “I feel you.”

Silence hung between the two of you while you walked two blocks down the streets where Bucky met you.

“Boss, (y/n), Back to the tower?”, he greeted, already knowing the evening hadn´t gone by in a good way.

“Yes, please.”, the CEO nodded.

__

The next day you had updated the security protocol with your saveword, that would send out an alarm to the security department (speak: Thor and Bucky) and allow them to hear and see what was happening in real time (with maybe 3 seconds delay).

The word you had chosen was “Rosebutt”, and for the occasion of the day you decided to bake some chili after your mothers recipe and invited (after asking Loki of course)  for dinner.

It was served in the common area and you used it to meet those you hadn´t met before. Speak: Mr Tony Stark (head of IT) and Mrs Pepper Potts-Stark (Head of Public relations), they came in the presence of a teenager , Peter Parker, who apparently did a long term internship and was something like the little brother/ son everybody wanted. Anyone of those present would die for that boy and after the evening, you decided you would as well.

He was just so innocent and whole-hearted you knew you would do anything to make him happy.

Peter would definitely get the biggest birthday cake you ever made for his next birthday, that was certain.

___

It was close to Christmas when you received heavy news; news that made you call Pietro to drive you to Loki´s office.

“Good morning (y/n), go right through.”, Heimdall greeted you without looking away from the file-closet he was currently searching.

As always you wondered how he was able to always know everything that was happening.

Loki called it a gift, you called it a talent any good secretary needed but only a few have.

“(y/n), what is wrong? Heimdall informed me that you were in distress coming here.”, the CEO asked you with deep worry in his voice.

“I need to leave.”, you breathed, “My aunt called, my Mom apparently in a bad shape at the moment and her boss told her if my aunt can´t cover the shifts his girlfriend does not want to work, she will lose her job. I need to go home and see after my mom while my aunt has to work double shifts. Neither of them would accept any money to help and-”

Loki looked relieved when he heard you did not want to leave for good but were ´just´ needed at home.

“Heimdall will take care of the flight and everything else. Take as much time as you need and if you need anything else, let me know.”, he nodded, totally ignoring (or not hearing?) your statement you would give him everything you have to offer in return.

You had continued rambling on, not realizing that he had already spoken to you, “And I don´t want anything in return. Family is important. Go, take care of your Mother.”

“Thank you thank you thank you thank you.”, you shouted, though your voice was muffled by his suit. You had started to hug him once you had registered his answer, with your head pressed against his chest.

It took a moment for his surprise to wear of, you usually did not touch him like that, but then he embraced you in his arms and whispered into your hear.

“No need to thank me. Take care and call me.”

“I will. I promise.”

__

“Your flight will leave in three hours from La Guardia. Pietro will drive you back to the tower where you can pack. I already organized for suitcases to be brought up to your room and a car will be waiting in Meadows Field to drive you to your mothers home. If you need a room for any reason, call me and I will have one organized; no matter what time of day.”, Heimdal spoke the second you left the office.

How in the hell does he do that?

“Thank you. And I mean it.”, you almost sobbed, on your way down to the lobby and back into the car.

___

“What are you doing here?”, you stuttered, surprised to see Bucky opening the car-door for you once the car had stopped at the Airport VIP entrance.

“I am your Bodyguard, remember? Where you go, I go. Heimdall called and informed me roughly about what is going on. And before you start to worry: I had nothing to do than working at the club. So no, you do not intervene with any plans I may have had. Now, if you would follow me, someone will get you bags while we will wait in the VIP lounge for boarding.”, your friend and bodyguard spoke before you could even think of apologizing for trashing his plans. All you could do was nod and follow him into the building.

“Take whatever you want. The food is included in the yearly fee Boss is paying. It is really good.”, he smiled, motioning to a buffet that stood on one side of the lounge.

“Maybe. When does the plane start? I don´t think Heimdal gave me an exact time, or a ticket if I think of it.”

“No need for a ticket, trust me, and for the time. I think in one hour, but if there is an earlier opening, someone will come and get us. They won´t leave without us. I can assure you that.”

You wondered what he meant with ´No need for a ticket.´ You never heard about someone being able to fly without one, but it made sense once you left the shuttle (a small limousine) onto the tarmak and stood in front of a private Jet with the Asgardian Logo on its side  towards the end.

“Don´t tell me you thought Boss would make you fly commercial and possibly even economy or first? Let´s go inside. The flight takes a few hours and, the earlier we leave here, the earlier we are at your Mother´s.”

Part 10

AN 2.0. So what do you think is going on?

REBLOGS and comments are appreciated:)

Thank you very much.

~MaggY

Taglists:

Permanent:

@jadepc​@pacifyhxlsey​ @thankyoukarenclifford​

@thankyouforanonymity​  @punkrockhufflefluff​

@scarletraine @buckycaptspideypool  @markusstraya @graveyard-groupie @markusstrayya @randomgirlkensy @the-soulofdevil

@marshyrebelcloud

MCU:

@yknott81​    @banner-and-bucky-are-life​ @forext20​ @dyanlzbb​  @so-finster-die-nacht @emmii4​ @bitchwhytho​ @ladyofmyst​   @jilldsumner​ @momc95​ @appreciating-fanfics​

Sugar:

@bits-and-bobs-and-kawaii-stuffs @mimmie666​   @fullranchwolfoperator

@cluelessnitwhit​ @youknowitsclouds @his-paradox @purplerainharry​

@spootgaai2000 @iamsuperjenna​ @nikkipea​   @alexakeyloveloki @timelordy-fangirl2 @girrafeeeeeee @emilyjane44x

I couldnt tag a few of you… sorry.

Want to get tagged as well? Comment, Reblog or send an ask to let me know.

[fanfictrashdump]

Universe in a Jar, 3 - Phase 4 fic

Recap: Some days ago, I reblogged this post about the magical trio. And then my brain went off on a monumental tangent and, I wrote Universe in a Jar.

Characters: Stephen Strange, Loki, Wanda Maximoff, Wong, OC

Rating: T?

Warnings: Language! Nightmares, sass, terrible storytelling, and typos prob.

Summary: Baby-sitting beings arguably more powerful than him goes awry for Doctor Strange. He knows one person who can possibly keep them isolated and out of trouble. Well, he knew someone who could… he hasn’t seen them in decades and for stupid reasons.

Previous Chapter

~*~

While tensions had eased in the household, Stephen maintained a respectable distance from Seph, if only to ensure his continued breathing. During the day, he took to reading in familiar spots, comfortably nestled amongst memories or doing chores that felt comforting in their nostalgia. During the night he tossed and turned in a bed he had once known as well as his own, hoping against all hope that his brain could shut up and allow him to rest, if only for a few hours.

The Hale house had six bedrooms, bigger than his own home with four, despite only ever having two occupants. Wanda and Loki had chosen two rooms at the end of the hallway that overlooked part of the farmland surrounding the houses. Persephone had taken over the grand bedroom on the other side of the hallway. Stephen had debated taking one of the guest rooms on the lower floor, but one step into each of them had his skin crawling in an uncomfortable manner. He wasn't meant for those rooms.

You're family, Stephen. Stop ringing the doorbell, Demeter Hale had once announced, exasperated, one chilly winter morning. And she was right. Stephen practically lived there. Hale manor was quieter than his own home and had a plethora of books on odd topics he had never even heard of–it was a wonderland.

Family, as it were, slept on the top floor. The room Wanda currently occupied was where he would typically drop his clothes in when he stayed over. Though, if he were honest, there was seldom a time he slept over that he made it back into the room for the night. It was a bad habit that spread to high school and beyond, ignoring the propriety of what their parents would explain was not OK for friends to do. But Stephen and Persephone had never been interested in each other that way. Well, at least that they would admit. So, he always stayed in her room.

Tonight was no exception.

Wanda turned in first, as usual, taking solace in the quiet and solitude to mourn her family in silence… or figure out how to get them back. Stephen wasn't exactly sure which one she was on, at the moment. Later, he watched an all-too-flirty Loki amble to his quarters, not before getting a long, drawn-out hug from Persephone (likely more, when he wasn't watching… which he wasn't). Then, she would offer him a shy wave before hiding in the grand bedroom.

After a while, he stopped contemplating the closed door and turned into the bedroom across the hall. It looked… exactly the same way it had when he last stepped foot in it–posters, pictures, school banners, strings of lights littering the canopy. Across the desk chair, an old hoodie, that he could clearly tell used to be his, was discarded. He had raised it to his nose when he first entered the bedroom. It still smelled of him, but there was the faint scent of her perfume permeating the fabric. If he were a sentimental man…

He fell into 'his' side of the bed with a groan. As a way to ease his mind, he had spent some time in the garden, picking tomatoes and berries and tilling a bit of stubborn dirt at the far west corner. His back now burned in protest, but it was a welcome distraction from the monotony. Wong had told him in no uncertain terms that Wanda and Loki needed to settle before they dealt with issues with the Multiverse. It would be a moot point to correct some magic when their owner was simply going to re-do the whole mess the second they could. In all fairness, this was mostly an issue with Wanda. Loki, despite being a stubborn mule and refusing to explain his reasoning, had not done too much damage. It would likely be a while before he slept in his own bed again.

Stephen blinked into the darkness, turning on his side and attempting to sleep in that position. Ten minutes, then thirty, an hour later–no sleep. Amid the cricket chirps and frog songs, a small noise broke the trance-like state of his insomnia. It was ridiculous how quickly he recognized it, and even more pathetic how naturally it brought him to a sit. He glanced at his door, deciding if he was really going to cross the hallway this time. He chickened out the first three times he had heard it, but there was something desperate about the sound tonight. It was bound to be a bad one.

"You've died a thousand times in the hands of the Dormammu. You can go check on Seph, you loser," he berated himself, pushing the bedsheets off and wrenching the door open.

He tiptoed across the hall and gently opened the door. Whatever it was he was expecting to see, it certainly was not this. Persephone was tangled in her sheets, her pajamas of plaid shorts and another old sweatshirt of his rumpled across her body. With every pained, nightmarish pant, a universe exploded around her, encompassing her in iridescent light before fading away. It was like she was locking herself in the same box she had trapped him, killing herself every other breath. Reflected in the glass was every ghost and ghoul that haunted her dreams, sadistic grins flashing down at her weary body.

So this was why she was so exhausted.

Carefully, he clambered to her side, grateful to find that he could easily reach past her barriers. His fingers gripped her shoulder and shook her gently. "Come on. Wake up, Seph." She whimpered again and the glass changed in color. Reflected on its surface was his own face, years younger, nary a single grey on his head. He looked terrifying, even to his own eyes; cold, detached. Stephen shook her more firmly; the barriers flickered.

"Stephen–" Her voice trembled and her whole body quivered. "Please."

His other hand pried hers from the bedsheets and twined them together. "Peep, I'm here." He found himself hunching, speaking the words in a decisive tone in her ear. "It's just a dream, Persephone."

Another shudder ran through her before her hand tightened around his. It took a moment longer before she was able to blink awake, though her eyes were wild and disoriented in the darkness.

His other hand pressed into her back in an effort to soothe her when she shot up with a gasp. "I have you, Peep. You're OK." A second, two, twenty–and she broke into a heart wrenching sob.

Stephen wasn't any good with tears, a fact he gently reminded her of, mid-sob.

Her eyes, still spilling tears, bore into his in disbelief.

"You're absolutely right. I'll shut up now," he hastened to add, awkwardly patting her shoulder.

Seph wiped roughly at her eyes. "Just go, Stephen. I'll see you in the morning." She wrapped herself tight, knees braced against her chest and her line of sight lost elsewhere.

"Peep, don't be like that."

Her brows pulled together and her mouth set into a grim line. "Don't call me that, Steve."

A ghost of a smirk tilted his lips at the annoyance radiating off her. "Why not?"

"I'm not a child."

"I know you're not. You're a grown-up doctor. Well, a psychiatrist, at least." He smiled and nudged her side with his elbow to get a rise out of her.

She didn't take the bait. The ball she had molded herself into tightened.

"I don't practice, anymore."

Stephen's head snapped towards her, instantly. "What?"

"I quit."

He sputtered. "What? Why? And, when? I got your information from the hospital–"

With a groan, she clenched her eyes tightly closed, trying to block out the world as if she wasn't just trapped in a murder box of her own (unconscious) design. "Jesus Christ, you talk a lot. The Blip. I quit after the Blip."

"But, the kids you treat–"

"On a personal capacity," she cut in, hoping the conversation stopped there. Of course, she had known Stephen for far too long to expect that.

"You love your job, Seph. I've seen you pass up box tickets to the damn Philharmonic for a counseling session."

A half shrug left her. "I was alone and I wanted to feel it. So I made this whole mess." Seph gestured at their surroundings with a vague wag of her finger.

"I don't understand."

"I know you don't. Work has always been enough for you. It wasn't the same for me."

He sighed. "Maybe then, but now–"

"It's still the same. You're doing farm chores you never even did when you lived here because you need things to do. You try to shake Loki down every other hour for information on whatever the hell he was doing that prompted you to grab him. Wanda's sick of you. You can't just ever settle down!" There was a sharp edge to her voice that was not lost on him.

Stephen blinked, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, how did this become about me?"

Seph growled under her breath, releasing her limbs and narrowly stopping herself from smacking the living daylights out of him. "Because it is about you and your fucking inability to relate to anyone about anything! Not everything is logical! Wanda lost her family! Loki got bounced around fucking realities! And you're annoyed that you can't get back to the Sanctum until you figure the Wonder Twins out."

"I have other responsibilities–"

"Which Wong is taking care of."

"Wong might think… wait, how do you know Wong?" His head tilted like a distracted dog.

"You might have not reached out to me, but others did. He wanted to know who you were; you had just started training. I told him you were an asshole and that I never wanted to see or hear from you ever again. We exchanged numbers."

He sat in silence for a long while before glancing back up at her. "Why didn't you come to Kamar-Taj?"

"I wasn't invited."

"And the Sanctum?"

"I. Wasn't. Invited."

He chewed at the inside of his cheek, ignoring the weight of her gaze on him. "Come back to the Sanctum with me."

"Nope. I'm fine where I am."

"You're on a farm in rural Nebraska in a town where you are the extent of the diversity."

Persephone sighed, reaching up to brush the overgrown stubble on Stephen's cheeks. "But it's home."

"You're alone, though."

"And you're lonely in a city of five million people."

He pretended to ignore the sting of the comment, opting for some sweet-talking, instead. "You'd like it, though. So many books."

"That is a new bar of low. Don't bribe me, Steve." She scoffed unconvincingly, he caught the slip.

"Like, a loooot of books. In all different languages. Would probably keep you occupied several years."

He knew her too well. She hated it.

"I'll think about it." He smiled a little too brightly. "Just think. No promises." More silence came to keep them company.

He hesitated before wincing. "Does this happen every night? The suffocating and exploding?" She nodded. "You should definitely come. We can figure something out, Wong, you, and me." Another nod. He straightened the fabric of her headwrap and tucked a runaway curl underneath with an easy smile. It was an excuse for contact, he knew, but he couldn't bring himself to care and she didn't seem to mind. He retrieved his hand with a sigh. "You're tired. You should get some sleep." He braced on his arms to shuffle out. A hand wrapped around his wrist and held him there.

"Don't go. Please."

Stephen smiled and nodded after a moment. He gestured with his head. "Scoot over, Peep."

"Steve."

"Quiet. You'll get us caught," he whispered, and they both giggled like it was the millionth time those words were said. It probably was. They curled up under the covers and drifted off.

~*~

Stephen was now beyond curious about Persephone's magic.

As the early morning broke over the horizon, he found himself up and about the house, doing little chores that felt like muscle memory. When the coffee was brewed, he took a mug and sat on the stairs to sip, watching as last night's roommate woke and barely acknowledged him as she drifted down the steps, pausing only to ruffle his already messy hair. She stopped at the entry hallway, jumping slightly backward at the floating cloak hovering in place. The words had stuck in her throat, and Stephen watched between the banister poles with a smile on his face.

"Ste–shitshitshit." She inched backward as the garment glided over and stopped in front of her. The cloak lifted a bottom corner to gently glide over her left hand, rubbing itself against her skin before settling around her shoulders in a warm embrace. It urged her forward and to a side table that held some keys and a vase of flowers. Beside the vase, a double-fingered ring sat innocuously. The cloak gestured in its direction and then back at her.

The Sorcerer leaned forward to see what she'd do. With shaking fingers, she picked up the ring and turned it in her hands. The cloak, impatient as ever, grabbed the ring and slipped it over her fingers. All at once, the barriers containing the house inside of the apartment glimmered and symbols etched themselves in brilliant orange light across them. Stephen could barely understand half of them, but the ones he could seemed like they were building blueprints and math that would make the inexplicably large fit into the inexplicably small. It was like staring at the source code on a computer and breaking down the software into its components. He broke out of his reverie by the fourth Stephen being called. He jumped down the remainder of the steps and turned the corner.

Persephone was staring, half fascinated, half horrified at the markings, and was drawing the cloak tight around her shoulders–the cloak was loving it. He stopped beside her and she reached out for his wrist, clasping it as tightly as she did the night before. "Ho–how does it know my magic?"

"You can read this?"

"Yeah, it's in plain… you can't?" Stephen shook his head. "How's it doing this?"

"Not 'it'. You. This is you. The ring's just a conduit. The cloak's just a nuisance." There was a whisper of a huff from the fabric and Seph pulled it tighter, smoothing her hands down the red contours. A rustle like a shiver followed. "Don't get comfortable. This isn't permanent."

"I wasn't assuming…"

"I was telling them." He glared at the cloak. "She's not your new pet. Settle down." His eyes lifted to hers. "They get familiar. Sorry."

"It's OK. They're sweet. After you get over the fact that it's a garment with a mind of its own."

"Are we under attack?" Wanda startled the both of them. They turned to see the witch still in her pajamas, hair mussed up and hands glowing. "Why are we warding?"

"Not warding. Seph put on my sling ring and this happened. It's her magic."

"Oh. She has Chaos magic wards in her repertoire." Wanda pointed at several spots and they lit up red with her magic before fading back to orange.

"I don't know what that means," Seph spoke up meekly, barely breaking through the intense debate the other two were now having, trying to identify the remainder of runes.

Stephen traced a rune with his finger. "Anything dangerous?"

"No. Just protection runes. Over and over and over. Every type under the Chaotic sun. Loki might know about the others, though."

"I still don't know what that means."

"It means you are all sorts of impressive, Peep. I'll pop in on Wong and grab a few books." He offered his open palm for the ring, which she happily gave. However, when the ring came off, the symbols didn't fade. Instead, they crackled like embers and seared themselves into the invisible veil surrounding the space. Stephen frowned. "Maybe I'll take you with me." He turned to Wanda. "Can you and Prince Emo behave while we're gone or do I have to drag you along, too?"

Persephone elbowed him in the ribs. "Stephen–"

"Right. Relating." He drew a breath and his shoulders slumped. He tried again. "Could you and Loki stay put while Seph and I go to the Sanctum? I need to show Wong. It's important."

Wanda and Seph exchanged a lengthy conversation in facial expressions alone before the witch smiled. "We'll be fine. I was just going to sit and read on the porch. Loki won't be awake for a couple of hours."

"OK. Good. Thanks." He stood silently ruminating in his head before abruptly snapping out of it and shaking the cobwebs from his mind. "You ready to go?"

"I'm in my pj's, Steve." He blinked blankly at her and she rolled her eyes with a sigh. "Sure. Can I put on shoes, at least?"

He was already opening a portal by the time she finished asking her question. "No need." With little hesitation, he reached for her hand and stepped through the portal with her in tow.

Persephone barely managed to contain the gasp of wonder at the surroundings. Books, artifacts, paintings–it looked like a museum and it was all functional and there for the students. Stephen had been in a hurry a second before, but just watching her undistilled awe made him pause. His thumb brushed the back of the hand he had twined with his; a familiar gesture that barely pulled her attention. Her free hand reached for a tome lodged between jars of off-looking coins. It rippled in a kaleidoscope of colors upon contact.

"Miss Hale?"

Seph glanced over her shoulder to smile at Wong. His brows were pulled together as if he was trying to work out a particularly hard problem in his head. The problem, most likely, was, how are you not murdering him right now? You seemed pretty adamant about it when I last talked to you.

"Master Wong. How are you?"

Wong smiled kindly. "I'm doing well, Persephone." He seemed to sense the withering heat of Stephen's gaze and reluctantly turned to face the Sorcerer Supreme. "I didn't tell you because I doubted you wanted to hear how she hated your guts. In excruciating detail. And after what you did to her, you forfeited the right to know a thing about her. So save me the glaring."

Stephen pointed at himself. "Sorcerer Supreme."

"And an asshole. They're not mutually exclusive." He glanced at Seph. "You didn't even let her get out of her pajamas."

"She has the cloak!"

"Were you raised by wolves or what?"

"Doesn't matter right now. I have to show you something," Stephen declared in exasperation, tugging the sling ring off and handing it off to Seph.

She held the metal tentatively between her fingers before the weight of expecting stares forced her to slip it on. The magic rippled slower than it had in her house as if it were more hesitant to show itself, but soon there wasn't an inch of wall, bookshelf, or display case that wasn't burning bright orange and twinkling in the dimly lit Sanctum.

"How did you teach her that?" Wong had his eyebrows gathered up high, taking in every marking around him with awe.

"I didn't. I thought it only showed her magic but… it's everyones. It's like she can open them up, like a book. Peep, can you read these, too?" Her eyes danced over several objects before lighting on a sword mounted on the wall.

She pointed at it with a grin. "That one was supposed to be a joke but the spell actually worked." Seph tilted her head as she continued searching. "Actually, a lot of them were jokes that actually work. What are you supposed to do with enchanted dice?"

Wong opened his mouth to comment, but Stephen held a finger up to buy himself some extra time. He opened his palm and Seph dropped the sling ring in it. The symbols still didn't fade.

Wong looked, surprisingly, unimpressed.

"Can I talk now?" Seph giggled under her breath and Stephen gestured him along. "She's a psychiatrist. Why are you surprised she can access the root of magics? She probably became one because she could read things so well, naturally."

"Without training?"

For a second Wong looked like he was deciding whether or not Stephen was stupid. "Hence, why I said naturally."

"And the portals?"

"If you understand how the fabric of the Universe works, you can weave it to your will. We do that all the time. You're just astounded that she can do it naturally because it took you forever to understand. Is this really why you dragged her out of her home in pj's?"

"The symbols don't fade without the sling ring."

At this point, Wong was convinced Strange was stupid. "She's never needed the ring. The ring is a conduit, she can do magic on her own. If you distract her a–BOO!"

Persephone shrieked, jumping back as Wong jumped towards her. Sure enough, the symbols fizzled into the ether, though two, in a rainbow of colors, glimmered on the floor before her and an ominous ripple of red fabric fluttered around her.

"I see the Cloak of Levitation has found a new friend. They're even protecting her."

"They like most people more than me."

Seph rolled her eyes. "Why does that not surprise me?" She absently stroked over the fabric covering her arms.

Stephen ignored the jab. "What books would you recommend she start with to learn how to control her abilities?"

Wong was quiet for a long while. "There's a few about the magics of quantum mechanics, but if she's been able to do this her whole life, I doubt she needs them. Why would she need training? Barring an incident–" The two friends glanced shortly at each other out of the corner of the other's eye. "You two had an incident. What did he do?"

Rustling her curls, she scuffed her toe on the concrete floor, eyes downcast. "He was being dumb. I tried to kill him. Well, I blacked out and the power took over. Loki had to break him out of a killing jar."

"Quantum magics, then… and maybe some yoga." He gestured at her with his head. "Come on. I'll show you the library."

Her eyes widened with almost innocent excitement. "This isn't the library?"

With a doe-eyed stare, she followed Wong; Stephen close behind, pretending not to grin. The second Wong opened the doors, Persephone let out a long, disbelieving gasp. She trembled as she walked and the cloak had taken to wrapping itself tightly around her to keep her calm.

Wong smirked. It wasn't often that he received anyone who was this honestly happy to see a room full of books and not think about the bothers of having homework. He began to pull tomes from the shelves, stacking and weighing his options between similar texts. When his pile was nine books deep, he settled them on a table. "This should get you started. When you're done, you can come back and I'll lend you some more. On any topic you like."

"I never got to choose which books I read," Strange defended.

"Because you were annoying and she's not." Seph snickered in her spot, fingers toying with the spines of the stack. "Truly, come back when you're ready, and you're not actively trying to kill the Sorcerer Supreme."

"Tell him not to annoy me and I won't," she defended, though she smiled. "Thank you, Wong." She eagerly hefted the pile and gestured at Stephen. "Hurry up. I have things to read."

"Why don't you just make a portal?"

"Because it's rude to make them in other people's homes without permission," she started pointedly, "and I'm carrying books. Now, please." She smiled brightly at Wong and nodded. Stephen rolled his eyes petulantly. "See you soon, Master Wong." She stepped in the direction where Stephen had made a portal opening straight into her kitchen.

"See you soon, Persephone."

[ithehellisbucky]

Purple Velvet

Loki x Reader

Requested by: The Fifth Marauder

Word Count: 3,480

Warnings: Happy Loki

Author’s Note: I swear I’m going to stop writing fics about the beginning of relationships. I swear I’m going to start writing different fucking stuff. 

When it comes to your dating history, you kind of struck out. All you'd dated were losers named Dave and their even shittier friends Jeff. (I'm not saying that all people named Jeff and Dave are shitty people because they're not, this Jeff and Dave just happened to be real assholes.)

But the moral of the whole Jeff and Dave fiasco (which included a stripper named Pearl, a smashed kiwi, and a kid named Eli who was way too old to be Dave's son.) But enough with the parenthesis, parenthesis tells the hidden emotions and energy of the story. This story tells a story of emotions and feelings, more than a usual story. So, either the whole story is in parenthesis, or none of it is.

When you met Loki you had no idea that a relationship with him was going to be any different from any of your previous. A seemingly cocky man with slicked-back hair was not exactly the most optimistic of reliable partners, but somehow you were attracted to him. Drawn to the tall man who was possibly wearing a cape in the whole foods checkout line was definitely something to cross off the bucket list.

It wasn't just whole foods, it was possibly every other grocery store in a three-block radius. Considering that three blocks in New York had at one time held four different Trader Joes you had met Loki plenty of times before you finally had a conversation.

It was a normal day and you had been stopping by Harris Teeter to pick up some lasagna and ice cream. While you were bending over to get a pint of Chunky Monkey Ice Cream you heard a voice from behind you. 

"Would you mind grabbing me a pint of rocky road?" The voice asks. It was the man from the Whole Foods checkout line. His voice sounded like purple velvet, not just velvet, but purple velvet. The way purple velvet looks and feels is the way his voice sounds. You may be dawdling too long on what his voice sounds like, but god was such a sexy voice.

"Yeah, sure." It was kind of a lame thing to say, but the only good response. What were you going to say instead, tell him that his voice sounded like purple velvet?

As you handed him the ice cream you quickly analyzed his features. His hair was brown, almost black, but still noticeably brown. He had blue eyes that were almost overshadowed by the shape of his eyes, but not in a bad way. He was wearing a black turtle-neck sweater that was rolled up around his wrists, not because his sleeves were too long, but as a fashion statement.

He stared at you in a pensive manner, but not in a creepy way, in a curious and polite way. He didn't say thank you and you weren't offended, he seemed far too involved in this silent conversation to engage in a verbal one.

After staring at each other for a solid 7 seconds he broke the gaze and said a simple: "have a nice day." Before turning his back, tossing the ice cream into his basket and walking away.

You weren't flustered, by any means; the only word you could think to describe the interaction was interesting. You were deeply and intensely interested in whatever world this man was living in that appeared to be much different from your own.

"You too" you exclaimed in a manner not too different from his, a subtle plea for a reunification, possibly at Food Lion, or wherever had the best deal on tomato soup.

~

As the story goes, you two met again, in Ikea of all places. You were casually walking through the store, looking for a new nightstand after it had an unfortunate accident after you read the ending of The Time Traveler's Wife. All of a sudden you heard muffled grunting noises as you were passing rows of couches. 

Like any sane person would, you leaned back into the row to see Purple Velvet trying to pick up a couch.

"Um... Excuse me? Are you okay?" You ask, walking toward the tall man who appeared to be sweating.

"Yes, I'm fine." He exclaims, standing up and brushing off his knees. "I just need to get something from under the couch."

"Would you, uh, like some help?" You respond.

"It's alright, I can do it on my own." He replies. He bends over again and starts lifting up the couch for a second time.

For some reason, you didn't walk away. It was probably because you knew he needed help, it was also possibly because he had killer back muscles.

"It looks like you need help." You exclaim, ready to help him out with the herculean feat of lifting up a couch.

"No, I'm good." He grunts out.

After about 20 more seconds of pointless grunting, he finally gives up. "Are you still offering me that help?" He asks.

"Sure, what do you need help with?" You answer, putting down your basket and kneeling down be eye to eye- or at least as close as possible considering your height difference.

"I can lift up the couch, but I can't reach far enough to grab the earring." 

"Earring?" You ask quizzically, it was really none of your business. It was just that  Purple Velvet was lifting up a couch in Ikea to get an earring, and everything about that sentence made you desperately curious.

"Yes, that's the object that I dropped under the couch." He replies calmly.

"Well, that gives me absolutely zero information." You casually respond, a slight smile forming on your face.

He grunts a little, almost like he wanted to chuckle but something stopped him. It honestly sounded more like a snort, but this man doesn’t seem like a person who you say “snorted”.

"When I pick up the couch, can you grab the earring?" He asks. 

He picks up one side of the couch, so it's leaning in an acute angle. You lie on the floor and reach under the couch to try and grab the earring. "What does it look like?" You ask. "There's a lot of shit under this couch, and I want to make sure to grab the one thing that not's shit."

"It's green, and is the type of earring that hangs down." He grunts out. "It’s an emerald color."

"Okay, thanks." You respond, reaching even further under the couch to grab something that appears to have a greenish tinge. 

When you touch that item it's gum you let out a loud ew and continue to reach under the couch. After searching around for another minute or so you grab an object that is smooth on one side and pointy on the other. You look closely, and it indeed appears to be an earring.

"Got it!" You shout.

You slither up from underneath the couch and hand Purple Velvet the earring.

He hesitates for a moment before saying anything. You almost expect him to say nothing before he lets out a quiet thank you.

"You are so very welcome." You announce, letting your positive attitude show.

You get up and begin to walk away, then Purple Velvet sets down the couch and walks over to you; "This may sound kind of weird, but I was wondering if you would like to possibly get something to eat. Together, I mean. At a place other than Harris Teeter."

His demeanor was desperately trying to cover up the anxiety in his voice. He straightens his back and looks at you with misplaced authority. The story happening out loud was far different from the one happening between the two of you, in body language, and in the emotions flashing on your eyes.

The true story going on is that Purple Velvet was asking you out on a date. In a very awkward way that seemed entirely off-brand for someone with his kind of attitude. He seemed shy and was anxiously attempting to hide it. 

“That sounds great, where do you want to go eat?” You answer.

"I saw this Italian place a couple of blocks from here, I believe it's called Mateo's?" He responds, a civil look returning to his features.

"Eh... That made be a problem." You exclaim, a puzzled look forming on Purple Velvet's face, god his voice is so sexy... "Mateo and I have a small food, I dated one of his waiters and after we broke up the waiter spit in my food. Mateo didn't believe me, so here we are. Banned from the best Italian Restaurants in all of New York City. Well not if you consider pizza"

Purple Velvet's face droops, and your absolutely positive the first thing on his mid in skepticism.

"But don't worry! I know another really good place nearby here." You nearly shout, but then you stop. You don’t want him to hate you before he even gets to know you.~

You lead Purple Velvet out of Ikea and onto the street to your left. The two of you keep on walking for about 3 blocks before turning left again and walking into a much dingier road, that could possibly be called an “alley”. You walk for about one more block before stopping at the place to your right.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you." You exclaim jokingly.

Purple Velvet calmly responds with: "I'm not so sure about that," before walking into the structure.

Inside of the building, there's a stairwell leading to the restaurant but to the untrained eye, it could just seem like it was some creepy place that shady businesses could casually murder people in.

"Oh my god, I completely forgot how scary this place looks if you haven't been before. Um... We don't have to eat here, I know a lot more..." You hesitate. “Pleasant place a couple of blocks from this, um, place." You gulp loudly, fear instilled in your heart by the looming threat of rejection.

Instead of running for the hills and being terrified of the eerie place you brought him to, Purple Velvet just laughs. "It's quite alright, I read the sign outside and I saw some people eating in the window; I am more concerned with the quality of the food than any other harm happening to me." He pauses for the moment and then tilts his head and looks at you from the side of his eye. "Unless you possibly know anyone by the name of Thor or Bruce."

"No Bruce." You exclaim. "Unless you count the one that does my dry cleaning."

He chuckles and then gestures up the stairs. 

Once you reach the top of the stairs the door is on your right, and once you step in your senses explode. You step into a brick room with posters from the 1940s all over the walls. The smell of tomato sauce drifted into your nose and the loud sounds of the kitchen filtered into the room where the seating was located.

Purple Velvets' eyes lit up, even though he didn’t make any noise. A smidge of a smile began on his face before twisting downwards to form his usual neutral expression.

"Should we wait to be seated?" Purple Velvet asks. 

"Nah, once Tammie sees I'm here she'll make my usual and then we can start eating." 

"Well, then what is your usual?" He asks, sitting in the seat by the window that you led him too.

"Medium-large pizza half, pineapple on one half and the other half without." You exclaim without a moment's hesitation, not finding it weird at all that you had not only memorized your order but had every single word and the order they were in memorized.

"Pineapple?" He pauses as his face scrunches up. "On a pizza?"

You laugh loudly, reacting to his distress. "Yes, on a pizza. Have you never tried it before?" You ask in genuine curiosity. 

"No, I've never even heard of it." Purple Velvet responds with a light chuckle.

"I'm going to guess and say you're not from New York, or America at that." You exclaim, eagerly awaiting a response.

"No, I believe I'm from Norway." He responds, confusion flashing over his face for a few seconds.

"You believe?" You ask quizzically, wondering how this adult could have no idea where he was from.

"I was adopted when I was a baby." He answers calmly as if it was an everyday occurrence to tell people life details on the first day... And from the way, this man acted it may be. "I grew up in Norway, I’m not sure exactly where, but I could have also been born in Denmark or Sweden."

You were about to interject with a statement about how hard that must be when Tammie comes walking up to you. Tammie was your nemesis from high school, and then you woke up one day and realized your whole feud was pointless. Besides, who gives a shit about shitty Danny Mueller in the first place. Also, her pasta sauce is way too good not to be friends with. And, one bowl of pasta sauce and pitcher of lemonade thrown at Danny, you were best friends. Forever.

Tammie sets down the pizza on the table and almost starts talking to you when she notices Purple Velvet. "Excuse me, care to introduce your, uh... Friend?" She says raising her eyebrows at you. 

"This is P-" You stop yourself from saying Purple Velvet and then you realize you never caught his name. "Remind me again, what's your name?" You ask, must to Tammie's disappointment.

"Loki." He exclaims, with his usually calm expression.

"Last name?" Tammie responds, her skepticism clear.

"Tammie." You say sternly.

"What, I'm just making sure that he's not a famous serial killer." She responds, trying to feign innocence.

"It's quite alright," Pur- Loki answers, a smirk forming on his face. "My full name is Loki Laufeyso-" he pauses, looks down, then regains himself "Loki Laufey."

"Okay, Lowkey Laughy." She responds, her eyebrows still raised.

"See, not a serial killer." You exclaim, gesturing at Loki.

"Maybe not a famous one.” You glare at her. “You're telling me that a man who let you take him down a dark alleyway to go into a shady building and up the stairs, isn't the least bit weird." 

"Farewell." You say to Tammie.

"M'kay." She exclaims, then points at Loki "If you kill her, I will kill you. And I'll get away with it too."

"I genuinely apologize for her." You exclaim, slightly embarrassed for her behavior... But not really, can't blame a girl for being cautious.

"No need." He exclaims as he picks up a piece of the pineapple pizza. As soon as he takes a bite of the pizza his eyes light up, and within seconds the slice is gone. "This is delicious." He exclaims, smiling, the first real smile you've ever seen on his face.

"You either love it, or you hate." You respond with a giggle.

"Well, I love it. I definitely love it." Loki is beaming as he grabs another slice. You hear something he mutters under his breath and it sounds something like: "For the fah-"

You two sit in silence, slurping down pizza. The beauty of silence is real. "What's your favorite color." You ask. He looks at you in confusion. "I mean I really don't know anything about you, and you've got to start somewhere." You exclaim even though you feel like you know everything about him.

"Green." He says. 

"Why?" You ask inquisitively.

"No one's ever asked me why before." He responds, his eyes are curious, and the mood makes you feel like you can see into his soul is as well.

"And I've never asked anybody why before." You respond, taking a bite of your pizza before looking at Loki with a comprehensive look on your face.

Loki is about to say something else before a waiter brings two glasses of water to the table. You thank him quietly and Loki simply takes a sip of his water.

"So... Why do you like the color green?" You ask him for a second time.

"I don't know he responds." He stops and ponders the question for a minute. "The mysterious aspect." He finally exclaims.

"Green is the color of plants, plants cover everything." He continues, looking out the window. "But you never really look that hard at them, unless they're beautiful." He turns back around to face you, to stare into your eyes with intensity. "But they can do anything. Cover skyscrapers, hide secret passages, they can kill you."

He pauses, and you notice that at some point you began to hold each other's hands. "They can also save you."

"What's your favorite color." He counters, dropping your hand to grab another slice of pizza.

"Purple." You say through a mouthful of pizza.

"Why?" He says, repeating the question that you had asked just minutes before. 

"Because everyone thinks that it's all fun and light until they realize how intense it can be. Purple can be intense and fun. And you shouldn't judge purple because it's pretty no matter the shade or the place it's put. It may not look pretty, but once you look closely you realize it's amazing."

Loki's nickname was Purple Velvet for a reason.

"I think our favorite colors have more to do than just colors," Loki exclaims, the darkness in his eyes far overshadowed by the light.

"Seems like it." You respond as you beam, your smile lighting up the room.

The two of you enjoy each other's company for at least another 2 hours, you couldn' tell. All you knew was that the sun had faded into twilight and that Loki's eyes were so goddamn gorgeous (and his voice was so sexy). Long after the pizza was gone, and hours after Tammie's shift had ended, the two of you were still sitting in the brick restaurant.

As the sunset is beginning in the sky you realize that you should probably head out. "As much as I want this to go on forever I just realized that it's getting kind of late, and I forgot to tell my brother I was on a date." Loki looks at you, a brief look of panic crossing his eyes. "As long as this is a date."

"We've been talking for- You trail off, looking down at your phone. "Ah, four and a half hours." You say, kind of shocked. "Time sure flies when you're having fun." You exclaim with a chuckle.

You keep on talking as you walk down the stairs and as you guide him to your building. "Well, this is my apartment." You exclaim, wishing this wasn't the end of your date. "What's your phone number?" You exclaim. Loki gives you his number, and you tell him yours.

After that exchange, you realize that the two of you are standing in complete silence. It feels comfortable with him, just with him. Nothing else.

As you stare deep into his eyes you realize that you are leaning towards his face.

Loki puts his hands on your jaw, cradling your face. His hand isn’t exactly warm, but it’s still comforting. You move your lips towards his and feel the electricity flowing between the two of you when they connect. Your bodies melt perfectly together as your lips combine. One of Loki's arms wraps around your waist as the other continues to caress your face. Your arms drape around Loki's neck, pulling you closer to his body. You feel like a puzzle piece. A puzzle piece in a two-piece puzzle. A puzzle that has finally been completed.

You pull away after what seems like hours, after what has possibly been hours. Your mouths pull away from each other, desperate for breath. You stand outside your building for another minute, feeling his breath on your face. The sun goes down on you two's embrace as you kiss for a second time, and then a third. A fourth.

After you kiss for the fourth time you stop and lean against each other. You stare into his eyes as he holds you to his chest as he drops his other hand to your waist. You move your arms from his neck to around his body, clutching him close to you.

"My name is (y/n)." You breathe out, breaking the perfect silence and replacing it with perfect noise. 

"What?" He responds, looking down at your face in pure bliss, even though his mouth didn't form a smile.

"With all the chaos going on I forgot to tell you my name." You exclaim with a giggle.

"I would hardly call it chaos, it was the exact opposite. Happiness."

You smile and go to kiss him again. Once you pull apart you look up again at his face.

He was smiling.

Requests are open!

~Taglists are open~

Permanent Tags: @natasha-danvers​

Marvel:

Young Justice:

[quietlysatan]

I need a permanent editor/beta reader.

I need someone to go through my works with or without me and make them,,,, palatable???? Readable???? Make them make sense to someone who isn’t me or you, the person who has me explaining everything to you cause my stories are mostly ideas thrown into a blender and regurgitated in a manner that only makes sense when you're on a sugar high or serotonin high or otherwise impaired, but also I use more commas than you would think possible because I tend to write how I think which is in continuous sentences and BOY does THAT show.

I’ll be giving you credit in any way that you prefer, so if you’d prefer your Instagram username, or your AO3 handle, or just a nickname so no one knows it was you or nothing at all or whatever you prefer? Absolutely, just tell me what you’d prefer once we agree, unless it's a slur.

Requirements: Literally just help me put my writing down in a way that makes sense for others, let me know if you won’t be continuing, don’t republish my work, edited or otherwise anywhere without asking and please do not give me constructive criticism unless you can do so nicely because I have really weird triggers for that and they’re very annoying. Also, I want to see what your editing skills are like so I’ll ask you to do one chapter first before I say yes so that I can be certain of our combined skills. 

Anyways, here’s everything I need an editor for currently, in order of importance? The ones I care to see edited the most? Basically, every work I need an editor/beta reader for minus the unpublished ones that I might mention if there’s anyone who wants to help with those left.

Building A Home - Harry Potter has a twin that is a girl whose name is going to change because I kind of hate Hyndragnea as a name now. At least for the Potters anyways. They were going to be Brazilian because I had a phase a while back when I wrote this that we don’t need to talk about, but now I’m toying with the idea of them being south African or African American (that is such a strange thing to actively type as a black African American person ngl) and you can definitely see that I was indecisive in a few places, for further details feel free to message me and read through what’s published so far.  [CLOSED]

Selfish - An Avengers crossover fic that hasn’t had the crossover yet, but it also has de-aged Loki (Who isn’t dating, and will not be dating anybody until he’s older, if ever) and the avengers becoming less and less mortal. To be fair, a few already are immortal. For further details feel free to message me and read through what’s published so far. [CLOSED]

Out Of Curiosity Mostly - Okay so for this one I basically just need a spell check it’s a collection of mostly Harry Potter ficlets and if you just want to do one specific chapter feel free to message me. For further details feel free to message me and read through what’s published so far. [Still open, 1 applicants]

Salvare - A slow burn Drarry fic about Lucius dying, Narcissa and Draco taking over the world, and Harry, Remus, and Sirius just sitting back and enjoying the ride pretty much. I actually still don’t know where this one is going, but it’s still open for updates, I just haven’t written anything for since I updated it cause when I published it I was right on the cusp of a really long depression episode but I’m better now so it’s fine right? Right. For further details feel free to message me and read through what’s published so far.  [CLOSED]

The Sun Has Always Said I Love You (And Look What You Can Do With A Love Like That) - I’m actually most proud of this one. It’s a Teen Wolf fic so Warning, Kate Argent is a fucking creep, and so is Gerard. Chris is cool though. So’s baby Allison. The Hales live. Derek has to come to terms with being assaulted but that'll either happen during a time skip or off-screen. [CLOSED]

Perhaps (It Was Only Just A Dream) - Starts in the Mauraders era, Jily lives, Wolfstar happens, Snape is actually a spy and ACTUALLY a good Snape, good Malfoys cause I can. This one also needs less of a complete overhaul and more of spellcheck, and comma detector because to be fair to me it is actually pretty well-written... Oddly enough. For further details feel free to message me and read through what’s published so far. [Still open, 3 applicants]

And They Were Kind, Kinder Than They Had Any Right To Be - An offshoot of What Could Have Been from the Building A Home Potter Twins Universe. Essentially, just a collection of previously written or thought of ideas that Could’ve happened but didn’t. Or at least haven’t yet. For further details feel free to message me and read through what’s published so far. [Still open, 1 applicants] 

Goodness Is Not Weakness, And Kindness Is Not Failure. - Essentially, what if Uzushio and her knowledge and her clans had lived? What if the city was more sentient, what if the entire Elemental nations were more sentient. Or, what if when that plant bitch Zesty the fucking mom obsessed in a questionable way tried to do Some Bullshit The Elemental Nations took note and said “Uhh, I think the fuck not”. For further details feel free to message me and read through what’s published so far. [Still open, 1 applicants] 

I want to warn you right now that my writing can be summed up as this Deus Ex Machina description right here.

Take that as you will.

Here’s my AO3 account by the way

Most_Likely_Satan

[thattennisgirl]

First Impressions Part 3 - Loki x Fem! Reader

Summary: Loki starts his undercover training with the Reader. Loki is not quite accustomed to Midgardian lifestyles much to the dismay of the Reader. Inspired by Thor’s "ANOTHER” scene in Thor 1.

Part 3 to this fic “First Impressions Part 2″

Post-Thor Ragnarok, but an AU where Infinity War/Endgame does not occur. Loki joins the Avengers. Reader works for Stark Industries and with the Avengers. The Reader is now Loki’s new partner.

Warnings: Language

Word Count: 2.1K

—————

To the ordinary eye, nothing seemed amiss at all in the outdoor coffee shop. A young waitress smiled as she moved to her next customers, the smell of coffee beans and fresh pastries lingered outside. The commuters passing by the shop completely unaware of the tension of the two individuals inside. One of the individuals was not even of Earth.

Instead, if someone had looked more closely they would have noticed the slight intensity of the couple at a table in the very corner of the outdoor area. The young male was handsome, with dark raven hair that fell in soft waves to his shoulders, a black suit complementing his lean athletic looking body. His blue-green eyes had a sharp intensity to them that caused others to look away. The female seated across from him, seemed completely unfazed by his gaze as she moved her coffee mug up to her lips.

However, unfazed was not exactly what you were feeling right now as you held your mug closely. A small smirk touched the lips of your companion and your knuckles turned white as you gripped the mug tighter. It was not supposed to be this way.

You were a complete natural at disguises, an expert by all means and you had been sent on many undercover missions for SHIELD before it’s collapse. Blending in was easy for you when you understood the expectations of everyone around you. But it was even easier when you were on your own or had a partner of the same expertise level. But this time, you would not be so fortunate.

Loki Odinson had been nothing but trouble and mischief since his arrival to Earth with the refugee Asgardians. They came seeking a new home since their last one had been destroyed by Ragnarok. And because the stuck-up, no good, weasel prince was still under surveillance for his alien stunt in NYC, Loki Odinson was now an Avenger-in-training. And you were his temporary partner for the time being which meant putting up with his ridiculous behavior such as challenges and attempts to best you in knife-fights. Not to mention his completely unfair usage of magic.

This was a horrible idea, you wanted to whine at Maria Hill as your eyes scanned your surroundings looking for your target. Just fucking great, babysitting duty and training at the same time. You thought as Loki eyed you thoughtfully. You kept yourself from jumping as his legs brushed yours for what felt like the hundredth time that day.

“Such a foul mood today, I wonder what could have possibly caused such a thing, dear partner?”

“Shut up Loki.” You mumbled as your eyes glanced past him to try and find the male suspect the team was watching for.

Loki continued on as if he had not heard you. “It must be quite terrible, going from SHIELD to this.” Loki said the word with disgust, “Do you always do what Stark tells you to?”

“Are you still that upset about your failed world domination thing or just embarrassed that the Hulk kicked your ass?” You replied without missing a beat, a small smirk tilting your lips as you noticed his immediate frown.

The god leaned forward, undoubtedly an attempt to intimidate you. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, mortal.”

“Obviously I do.”

Loki opened his mouth to retort but a feminine voice beat him to it.

“Hi, is everything okay so far for you two?” The young brunette waitress asked sweetly, batting her eyelashes at Loki in a way that made you want to roll your eyes. Ever since the two of you had begun your undercover training in public, the numerous women had flirted with the Asgardian. Although none of them seemed to be aware that he was a lethal alien who had nearly wiped out NYC years prior. No, you imagined it was his outrageously good looks, sharp cheekbones, and ocean eyes that attracted nearly every female within a 100-mile radius.

Loki turned to the waitress and nodded, “Thank you for the drink, I will have another.”

“Yes we’re fine, thank y-” You were interrupted by a loud crash and shattering. You turned to see that Loki’s ceramic mug now lay a pile of ceramic shards on the ground. Your wide eyes turned immediately to see Loki’s calm, rather bored looking ones and his pale hand that moved away from the side of the table. It was obvious he had thrown the mug to the ground.

You bit your tongue to keep yourself from lashing out at him knowing it would blow your cover if you did. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into him.” You apologized as you jumped out of your chair to help the waitress clean up the mess.

“Oh no worries, it happens sometimes.” The waitress laughed lightly, trying to hide the startled look in her eyes. You almost felt bad for her, almost.

“What is your problem?” You hissed at him over the table, now that people in the shop were staring at the two of you.

“I am merely showing my appreciation for the drink” Loki stated like it was the most obvious answer as he analyzed his nails.

“No, that is just rude!” You growled in irritation and Loki blinked before narrowing his eyes.

“It was not my intention to be disrespectful, I thought that was how Midgardian etiquette works.”

“You might be savages on Asgard, but here on Earth, we ask nicely for a drink, instead of breaking things.” You sighed when Loki shot you a dark glare, “From now on, please ask, no more smashing.”

“Y/N, what is going on over there?” Natasha’s voice echoed in your earpiece, “I thought I told you both to stay low.”

“Sorry, Loki had a small misunderstanding.” You muttered, glancing at the Asgardian who crossed his arms. You felt your mouth dry at the way the black fabric of his suit tightened over his shoulders. Why the hell did he look so good in a suit?

“Y/N, don’t let it happen again. We’ve got bigger things to deal with than Loki right now.” Steve Rogers said firmly over the comms.

“Yes sir.” You cut off Loki who had opened his mouth to mock the captain. You sent him a reprimanding look as you went to silence your mic. Taking a small sip of your coffee, you ignored Loki’s frown. If he thought he was angry now, he was not going to like what you had planned.

“Fine, your next step to being undercover is learning to apologize, properly.”

“I beg your pardon?” Loki’s shocked expression nearly had you laughing. Instead, your lips twitched in amusement.

“Close, but not quite. I want you to apologize to the waitress for breaking the mug.” Your grin widened as Loki paled at the thought.

“Absolutely not.”

“You will. We won’t leave until you do. A lack of good manners could ruin a disguise on a mission.” You crossed your arms and leaned back in your chair, for once feeling some semblance of control over the Asgardian. While you knew you should be keeping an eye out for your target, training the jerk prince would be much more entertaining.

Loki contemplated you for a moment, briefly considering running off but knowing the consequences of such would not be worth it. Loki’s eyes trailed over your casual clothing, not too different from what you wore when you lounged in the Avenger’s facility. But this time, you wore a baseball cap to discretely hide your identity. He couldn’t help but think you looked much more beautiful without it hiding your expressive eyes. Despite his admiration, he was not about to let you win this round.

“Fine, then I shall practice on you before she returns.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary--” You cut yourself off when the Asgardian reached forward quicker than you could blink. You tensed for a moment, expecting a scuffle and a fight in public, but instead, cool hands grasped your left hand that had been resting on the table.

His hands were longer and larger than you own, but still slender, reminding you much of a piano player’s hands. They deftly wrapped around your single hand, engulfing it whole and pulling you in closer to him. You grit your teeth, now nearly leaning out of your chair.

The Asgardian had a wicked grin on his face as he leaned closer to you. He was so close you could smell his distinct scent of leather and something fresh, perhaps mint or pine? His eyes held you captive as his thumb gently caressed the inside of your wrist in a way that almost felt genuine and had your heart thudding quickly.

“My lady,” Loki’s smooth baritone emphasized each word and you felt your cheeks flush in embarrassment as his eyes lit with mischief, “I think it is you who should apologize to me.” Then the bastard had the audacity to pull your hand to his lips.

You let out an unladylike squeak and quickly yanked your hand back before he could kiss it. Ignoring the sudden disappointment that welled up inside you, you fixed him with a glare. “A terrible apology and a cheap flirt, I thought you could do better than that Loki.”

But Loki could tell you were lying at the way your cheeks warmed under his gaze and his gaze flickered over your appearance as you fiddled with your mug. “You liked it enough.”

Your mouth gaped in surprise but you were saved by the return of the waitress, who brought a new mug of coffee to Loki. “Here you go.”

Loki immediately caught the girl’s wrist, his eyes watching her after he sent an amused glance your way. “I must apologize for my actions earlier, I did not mean to frighten you.” His hand gently held her own, “I wish to recompense you for the damages.”

“Oh, it’s o-okay. D-don’t worry about it.” The young girl’s cheeks went red, for a moment you worried that she might faint from all of his attention.

“Please, I insist.” Loki nodded at her, and you had to keep yourself from scoffing at his overly saccharine tone.

“Oh, well okay.” She nervously fiddled with her hair, “Do you mind if I ask you a favor?”

Loki sent a victorious smirk your way and you rolled your eyes, wishing she would just leave as you sipped your drink once more while Loki eagerly leaned towards her. “Please do.”

“Can you give Thor my number?”

You sputtered in surprise, spilling coffee all over the table and coughing, trying to disguise your laughter at Loki’s angered look. So much for keeping it on the low.

“Excuse me?” Loki asked in barely concealed rage.

“You’re his brother, right? Just give him my number, it’s not that hard. Thanks.” She wrote her number on the bill receipt and then turned away.

You snorted and Loki glared, you were desperately trying to wipe your tears of laughter. “I’m sorry, that was too funny.”

While Loki couldn’t help but think you were even more beautiful when laughing (if that was even possible), he was not about to let his pride take such a harsh blow.

“I’m going to kill her.” Loki stood up and magically summoned his knives to his hands. The murderous intent in his eyes signaled that he was quite serious.

You panicked and stood up just as quickly. You grabbed his wrists and pulled them back to his sides even as he towered over you and now focused his cold gaze on you, “No stabbing civilians.”

Instead, you settled for placating him with a gentle smile as you laid out cash for the bill and tip. It was time to meet up with Natasha anyway and get an update on the suspect.

You grasped Loki’s hand, noticing how he tensed for a moment at your touch before relaxing, then tightening his hand around yours. You sighed in relief that he had not pushed you away this time, but now his beautiful eyes were settled on you. For a moment, you couldn’t help but think that the waitress was a fool for picking Thor over Loki. Smiling, even more than you thought possible, you pulled him along, “Stabbing is not acceptable in our society either.”

“How terribly boring you Midgardians are.”

“You have no idea.” You giggled and Loki paused, his heart skipping a beat at the beautiful sound. He longed to hear it more. It gave him some pride to know he was the reason for such a delightful sound. “Loki, you have so much to learn about Midgardian culture.”

As Loki followed your lead, he glanced down at your adjoined hands. It was the first time in a while that Loki realized he was looking forward to something in his life.

————— TAGLIST

@meraki--mei //tag not working

@fire-in-her-veinz

@jessiejunebug

@grahoundart

Note: I am sorry this took me an eternity to get around to, I had some personal health issues and school to take care of first. But, I am officially a university grad! Thinking of creating a part 4.

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

[mrs-dragneel-stark-solo]

Unforseen Chasm (part 39)

Part 39 of Unforseen Chasm Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together. Word Count: 5853 Warnings: good news, stressing out, happy reader, mentions of kinks, teasing, girl’s night,bonding time between reader and OFC,over all it’s a really light chapter!  Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my other fic series). first major Collab with my best friend @thorne93 what was first a simple “what if” moment turned into a two year writing session and I’ve never been more prouder of myself than when i started my first series. goes through most of the MCU plots there are some changes to accommodate for what we wanted and there is a bit of a crossover between the MCU and other characters. I hope you guys enjoy reading this just as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Three long months had passed.

You say long because as much as you felt happy being free, not seeing Loki all day was hell. Of course you had the freedom to stay with him, but the two of you agreed you needed to be outside of the cell. Unbeknownst to Loki, you were refurbishing the apartment. Updating some of the decor and furniture, ensuring every appliance worked.

Despite everything, you still slept with Loki, in the cell, every night. You would continue to prove to him you would never leave his side or abandon him. It was hard some nights. Nights you wanted to be alone, nights you spent up with Shannon having so much girly fun, nights you felt like working out of the apartment… But no matter what, rain or shine, tired or wide awake, you met Loki, each night, with open arms in the cell.

That was how you spent your nights, but during the day, you juggled the wedding and the work Bruce put on you. He was not shy or concerned with overworking you it seemed, mainly because you seemed to keep up with the heavy workload. Working side by side with Bruce was surprisingly fantastic. His calm nature was a good contrast from Loki who was brewing with angst nearly constantly.

With both of you being ticking time bombs, you didn’t speak much to each other except for strictly work related items, which was fine with you. 

Shannon and you worked every day on something for the wedding. This was going to go down in history books, it had to be utterly perfect and planned down to the last detail. There were new tasks every day. Some big, some small, some just confirming previous arrangements she’d made, but you were determined to be the best maid of honor this world had ever seen.

Life for Shannon seemed to be going perfectly. Her and Tony seemed happier than ever, her work was excelling, and Tony was inventing things faster than you could blink. In just a few short months she would be getting married. Although, that was one small thing they did seem to disagree on -- the guest list. Other than that, all was perfect for your best friend and her groom.

Today, Shannon came to you in the lab with fantastic, unexpected news.

“Hey, Y/N, how’s work going?”  She peered at what you were doing at the moment. “You got a sec? There’s something I’d like to tell you.”

“Uh, I don’t know…” you trailed, not taking your eyes off the paper for a moment, running numbers in your head. “Wait just a sec….” You leaned back and looked over to Bruce. “Hey, do I have a second?”

Bruce looked up and over at you, glancing at Shannon. “Yeah, you’re fine,” he assured.

You smiled at him and put your work down on the glass desk in front of you. “I’m free now! What’s up?”

“Well I was talking with the team and a few people from SHIELD,” she started saying.  “And we’ve come to the decision that it’s time that Loki be given parole as well seeing as how well behaved he has been the past 3 months,” she stopped to let you process what she told you.

You stared at her for a moment, trying to take in what she just said. “Wait… Wait… Loki is up for parole?” you asked, the excitement in your voice rising.

“We’ve thought about it and did that some more and yes we believe it’s time he leaves that cell.” She sounded very serious. “But with that it means he would have his time with his parole officer, Dr. Strange, a fellow friend of Shield’s.” She pulled up the file on approving the parole. “So now you two will both be working and getting the chance to be outside of the cell, but I do have to warn you Shield will be keeping an eye on your progress.”

“Okay, that’s fine. Uh, how so?” you inquired. This was expected, but you wanted to know just how invasive they were going to be and for how long? You’d been on parole now for three months, and you still had to check in three days a week with Bruce. You had to physically walk into the lab, he had to shake your hand (to ensure it wasn’t an illusion by Loki), and then he would sign off on your reports, stating you’d been into work.

“Well they’ve been keeping track of you coming in to see Bruce and the work you do.” She gestured to what you’re currently working on. “Some of the work here is what they’ve sent over to have you do.” She walked over, pulling out what was sent from them. “And Agent Coulson will be around the tower more often just to see how you’re doing.” She reassured you. “The same will happen with Loki, it will be only a few times a month.”

You nodded. “For how long? When can we get back to… when can we start to have a real life?” you wondered,  clearing your throat.

“I wasn’t told how long exactly but I did ask them to make it short as possible. I know you two would like to enjoy your freedom,” she said sincerely. “I know how much this means to you, I’ll do my best to find out how long and cut that time in half.”

A warm smile touched your face. “Thank you, Shannon. I don’t mean to seem ungrateful. I’m happy he’s up for parole… So, will he be released today? What will he be doing with this Dr. Strange?”

“He’ll be released tomorrow in the morning at the same time you leave for work.” She smiled seeing how happy you were. “As for what he’ll be doing is helping around the sanctuary where they guard the Time stone.” She went about bringing an image of it up. “Dr. Strange is a great person to work with and I believe having Loki there will help him control his inner turmoil and help him be a better version of himself,” she gave a lengthy response that she knew you’d want.

You couldn’t help the twinkle that hit your eye. You immediately grabbed Shannon and held her tightly. “Thank you, so much. This means so much, to both of us.” Then a second later, you pushed her away. “Oh my god! This means I have to completely fix up the apartment tonight! I have to get candles and proper food for real meals. I have to get his favorite shampoo -- I don’t even know what his favorite shampoo is!” you started, panicking. You and Loki had lived together, technically for nearly four years now, but it wasn’t exactly conventional.

“Y/N! Breathe woman, relax everything can get done one step at a time.” She gestured to follow her breathing. “I’ll talk to Bruce about letting you have the rest of the day off so we can get that apartment done, okay?” She grabbed your shoulders to steady you. “As for the shampoo, I’m sure you’ll know which it is. You could ask Thor what scents Loki prefers,” she suggested to you.

In an instant, your eyes widened. “Shannon, that’s genius! Oh my god. Will you come with me? Please? I have so much to do and you’ve lived with Tony. You know what I need to grab… I don’t want to miss a thing!”

“Yes, Y/N, let me talk to Bruce really quick.” She walked over to where he was deep in thought. After a few minutes she came back. “Okay we’re all set, he just wants you to hand over what you have so far to read through.” She pointed to the file on the table. “Now come on, we have some shopping to get done.” She clapped her hands saying that.

“Jesus, Loki is such a picky eater,” you mumbled as you pushed a shopping cart in the produce area, trying to think of the perfect “welcome home” dish. “Is Tony a picky eater?” you wondered. You knew Tony professionally, in a friendly way, but you had zero idea about his living habits. That hadn’t really come up between trying to kill Shannon and spending years in prison for it...

“Not really, he’s pretty casual about it. He’ll usually ask for whatever I’m in the mood for,” she said grabbing some stuff for her and Tony. “Which is nice unless it’s a date night…” she said. “He tends to want to go somewhere fancy, that’s not really my thing.” She grabbed a box of strawberries and took one out to eat. “What's one of Loki’s favorite dishes?” she asked.

“Oh, that’s easy. He loves spaghetti. I honestly don’t know why,” you admitted, a little befuddled. “I guess because it’s simple? Hard to fuck it up,” you muttered.

“Well make some of that and add some sides, like maybe some salad or something you like too,” she suggested trying to make it a welcome home for you two. “What’s your guys favorite dessert? I can make some.”

“An excellent idea,” you mused. “Oh, um. He loves strawberry flavored things?” you said, slightly unsure. “I don't think he has a top dessert, so long as strawberries are involved,” you informed.

You grabbed a few things for spaghetti when you nonchalantly asked Shannon, “Should I greet Loki naked, or in lingerie?”

Slightly coughing, “Lingerie, but wouldn’t that be best for after dinner?” she asked. “Would kinda ruin the whole dinner thing. We could go look for something if you want.” She turned to you. “Is there anything in particular that you’d like to find?” She wiggled her eyebrows attempting to fluster you.

You couldn’t help but giggle at her response. “I fully intend for me to be the dessert, but it is always nice to make him squirm through the meal,” you remarked. “I need something with leather, and lace,” you informed, thinking hard. “So tell me, is Tony an ass or a boob man? Oooh, or something else entirely?” you wondered.

“He’s something else entirely, a man of many many kinks.” She blushed. “There’s a few things he really enjoys but I doubt you’d want to hear,” she continued “What about Loki? Does he keep it simple there too?” she retorted.

You gasped, your mouth hanging open in an O. “Shannon! My, my. Has Tony been rubbing off on you? You’re getting rather cheeky,” you teased as you saw a smug look transform on her face. “If you must know, madam, he is anything but simple in bed.”

“Why, Y/N, dear if you knew half the stuff I’ve rubbed off on him.” She smirked. “You’d think he’d be the innocent one.” Winking at you she took the cart and went to the next aisle. “Sounds to me like Loki likes to get wild,” she sing-songed.

You audibly gasped at her first two comments before jogging to catch up with her. In a low voice, you nearly whispered, “If you only knew… but then again, I guess we were being recorded down in that cell,” you recalled. “Let’s just say, Loki likes to experiment with his magic,” you informed.

“After a certain time in the night we leave them to record only when the motion sensor goes off.”

“Oh, sorry. The thing must’ve gone off all night then,” you teased.

“It must have if you’d been in the living room,” she winked. “We noticed you two spend your time there the most so we keep them aimed there and the kitchen,” she said.

You frowned for a moment, stopping dead in the aisle. “I thought Tony said every room had a camera except the bathroom?”

“It does but the time you guys were there we noticed you two spent most of your time in the kitchen or the living room so we focused on those two most and we occasionally would check the others.”

“So, it didn’t record at night?” Suddenly you smiled. “Tony was just trying to be a cock-block!” you nearly shouted in the crowded supermarket. “I’m going to kill him.”

“Y/N! Lower your voice,” she told you, seeing as people were eyeing you two. “I told him to leave you two alone but insisted on adding one in the bedroom,” she explained. “And I was turning off that camera at night so you two would have privacy,” she simply replied, heading to the checkout area.

You smiled at your best friend. You couldn’t help but feel so much warm love for her in that moment. Even when you betrayed her, nearly killed her, she sought to it that you were left alone.

“Guess I could’ve walked around naked then,” you mused. “Gah, doing it under the blankets was always such a hassle… Speaking of, you have got to tell me where the weirdest place you and Stark have done it is,” you insisted. For most, this might be weird. But you and Shannon had been so close for so many years, it was practically nothing to talk about sex and partners at this point, trading juicy stories and secrets between you two.

“I could… or you could try and guess.” She giggled. “It was an unexpected one at that too.” She recalled the memory. “Guess we had forgotten there was a camera there.” She passed the things from the cart to the cashier table.

You stared at her in awe for a solid minute before you suddenly hit her arm playfully hard. “You little minx!” you nearly squealed. “Where? Wait! Don’t tell me… Is it in the city? In Manhattan?”

“Yes and yes” was all she told you trying to see if you could guess exactly where. “It's the one place a lot of people go to throughout the day,” she hinted at you with a coy smile.

“Time...square? Grand Central? Jesus, Shan, it’s New York, millions of people go everywhere, all damned day,” you remarked. Your eyes narrowed on her, awaiting an answer if either of your guesses were right.

“It’s a particular place I took you once when we were barely living here. Had a giant food on top of the roof,” she laughed. “Give up?” she playfully asked.

After racking your brain for thirty seconds, you conceded. “Yeah, I give up,” you admitted. Thanos must’ve taken more than you bargained for when he fucked with your memories.

“It's that diner with the giant donut, remember that place?” She pulled out her phone looking for the picture. “Tony had wanted to go there for dinner one night... one thing led to another and we ended up on the top of the dinner and on the donut.” She blushed remembering that night.

“Holy shit!” you exclaimed, hitting her arm, making the cashier look at the two of you. “You’re so bad! I had no idea you did that!” You looked down at your phone, checking the time. “Oh, shit. We need to run and look at lingerie then we need to head to the apartment.”

“We still have all night,” she told you looking over to see that it was getting close to 7. “We could pull up an all nighter if you want to make things perfect, that way there’s not much to worry about in the morning.” She pulled out her card to pay for everything and headed for the exit. “Just let Loki know you and I are going to have a girls night.”

You chewed your lip a moment. “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll stop by his cell later or-- wait, could I use your phone? Your phone still has a direct line to the cell, right? I’ll just call and tell him I’m… working?” you tried. You didn’t like lying to Loki, but in this case, it was for a surprise, that you didn’t want to spoil.

Noticing the worry on her friend’s face she pulled out her phone and handed it to you. “It’s not like you’re going to lie to him because this would definitely count as a girls night because we’ll be having fun.” She bumped her hip with yours, hoping to make tonight fun.

You couldn’t help but smile. Always a ray of sunshine. You rolled your eyes lightly and laughed. “Okay, okay.” You found the contact and dialed the cell, opening up a video call with Loki. He was happy, yet confused to see you at first. But you quickly explained that you and Shannon were going to have a girls night together. At first, you were worried he would start to feel abandoned, but he knew sometimes you would have a life outside of him, and the cell. He was momentarily sad, but ultimately happy that you were happy. As soon as you hung up, you nodded at her. “Alrighty, we’re good to go! Let’s whip this apartment into shape, and get my ass into something sexy.” The two of you walked to the car. “Now, Loki’s gonna meet his boss-officer tomorrow morning, right, and then come home to the apartment after, right?”

“Yup, so basically Fury will have me and Loki head to Strange’s location so that he can become well acquainted with the workplace and see what’s where. And knowing you my dear, Y/N, I was given the okay for you to come along so that he feels some comfort,” she told you while she drove the two of you to a little shop she liked to get her lingerie. “Now in terms of sexy what did you have in mind?” She looked over at you at a red light. “The woman that owns the store can make something custom for you if you’re looking for something specific. Usually gets it done within an hour, so we could head next door to get our nails done while we wait.”

“Oh, you don’t have to take me tomorrow. I really appreciate you getting that done for me, but I have a big project with Bruce tomorrow… I’ll just visit Loki later at work,” you told her, giving her an apologetic smile. You clapped your hands together and then grinned widely. “Now, about the outfit. Oh, god. I have no idea exactly what I want. I know I want leather… lace… Hmm. What do you think? I have never had an opportunity to go lingerie shopping for him so I have no idea what he’s into, in that aspect.”

“Well let’s start with the basics, what colors are you thinking of getting?” she asked hoping starting out small will help figure things out.

You nodded your head side to side. “Black?”

“Great that’s a start, now in she has a new collection that I think you’ll like in terms of your new fashion sense,” she told you. “Is there any type of material you want it in; lace, silk, leather, sheer, fishnets, ecterera?” She gave you a bunch of material names.

Your eyes widened for a fraction of a second. “Uh, wow. Lots to choose from, hmm? I think for the first time, I would like to keep it simple with some lace and sheer material.”

“Mmm very romantic sounding,” she told you as she parked in front of the store. “Well let’s see what she might have that will catch your attention.” The two of you got out of the car. As soon as you two entered you were greeted by an older woman, upon realizing who you were with, she was a lot more relaxed.

“Hello, darling, it’s so good to see you again!” She gave Shannon a hug.

“It’s good to see you too. I actually brought my best friend to see if you could help her pick out something special for tomorrow night.” She winked at you. “I was hoping you could show her your new collection.”

“Darling, for you? Anything!” She went over to you and hugged you too. “And any friend of the future Mrs. Stark is a friend of mine.” She motioned for the two of you to follow.

“You have to stop calling me that!” Shannon simply said.

“Why should I, it’s true, is it not?” The woman looked over her shoulder. “Speaking of, your suit is almost ready. I bet he wants you wearing it all the time.” She addressed you next. “Alright, deary, what are you looking for? Something flashy?”

“Um, well… I guess. Okay, this is the first time I’m able to do something romantic with my guy, and I want to make it special,” you explained. “I’m thinking something… lacey, black. I’d like a sheer robe, if you have one? Do you have anything like that?”

“I believe I do. Let me show you to the smaller boutique,” she said, waving you over to a small, VIP room that had four walls filled with different styles and colors. “Let me pull some samples, and feel free to shop around.”

You thanked her as she went and grabbed a few pieces and you and Shannon grabbed a few of your own.

“I’ll set you up in this fitting room right here,” she said, walking over to a heavy drape, pulling it back.

“Thank you,” you said, holding several hangers. You looked to Shannon. “I guess if I like one, I’ll model for you?” you asked, hoping she’d be okay with that. You needed another girl’s opinion on if it accented all the right parts or made you look like crap in the back or anything.

“Sure thing! I’ll probably look for stuff too and see if I can show you what she’s making for me.” She smiled at you. “That way it’s two birds one stone.”

“Great!” With that, you disappeared into the changing room and slipped on the first outfit, which looked like garbage on you. This was more fit for a differently built girl, not quite the way you were built. Next, you tried a one piece lace number that seemed to look decent, but wasn’t a wow factor. But you modeled it for Shannon anyway. “Hey, Shan!” you called.

“What’s up, Y/N/N?” She looked up from the paper she had in her hand. “You find one that you like?”

“Uh, not sure. It’s okay.” You pulled back the curtain and let her examine you, your hands on your hips. You screwed your mouth to the side. “What do you think?”

She motioned for you to walk out. “I think it’s good but from what you were saying for what you want this might be a bit too simple.” She was walking around you looking at every angle. “This hugs you in the right spots but it still needs that awe factor.”

“I agree. Onto the next ones!” You jumped back in the booth, and tried on three more outfits, showing each one to Shannon, until finally, you think you had a winner. It was all black lace, a form fitting one piece, with a sheer green robe you’d found. You smiled appreciatively at the reflection before calling Shannon back over for (hopefully) the final time. “What do you think?” you said as you stood there. “I think it still needs heels, and maybe something extra like a garter or necklace but… I really like it.”

The moment you walked out Shannon’s mouth dropped open. “Y/N you look… WOW.” She looked you over. “Okay hold on, I think I know the perfect garter!” She ran off and you stood there for a moment. “Okay try this on.” She handed you a diamond wrap-around garter. “And for the heels, I bet you we could find something two stores down.” She pointed to the front of the store.

“Really? Oh, you’re a lifesaver! Okay, one second, let me try this.” You ran back into the room and slipped on the delicate, shining accessory. It hugged your thigh perfectly, making your curves really pop. You stepped back out into the showcasing room. “Thoughts?”

“Hmmmm the color is nice but what would you say to the diamonds being green?” she suggested. “We could probably ask Isabelle to dye them green if you want.”

“Ohh, yes. Yeah if she has this in green diamonds or emeralds that would be perfect,” you stated.

“Why don’t you change out of that and we can head over to her work table to ask her?” Shannon suggested, now that the outfit was picked. “That way you can see the garters and I can see how much more she’s gotten done for my honeymoon outfit.” She winked at you.

“Oh, naughty. I like it. Yes. Give me two seconds.” In a swift movement, you were inside the room, out of the beautiful outfit, and back in your street clothes. You grabbed the outfit you wanted and followed Shannon to Isabelle’s workbench.

“Isabelle, is there any chance you have a green diamond garter or in jade?” She walked over to the table looking at her outfit being almost finished and showed her the garter. “If not is there any chance you could dye this one in green?” She hoped either option was available.

“Let me check in the back. Meanwhile try on some of the pieces to see if they need adjustments.” She pointed to what was on the mannequin. “I might have something that would work.”

“Alright we’ll be right here.” She turned to you. “What do you think of what’s done so far?” She pointed to the cast of her own body. “It’s supposed to be a leather and mesh version of Tony’s suit but with less parts to it.” She walked over to it to try on the the top half.

Your eyes widened immediately. “Shan… This… Wow… Tony is going to fucking flip,” you said. “I mean… Look at you! You look like you should be walking in Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show! Does he know about this? Or is it a surprise?”

“Aw, Y/N/N, that sweet of you but I’m no model.” She blushed and waved her hand at you. “It’s a complete surprise to him, although I do feel like he’s been getting curious as to what I’ll be taking on the honeymoon.” She took off the top part of the outfit and walked over to the chest piece. “This part right here is supposed to shine in the light and glow in the dark.” She points to what looks sort of like Tony’s arc reactor.

“Holy cow, that’s amazing. This… He’s gonna love it,” you said, nodding at the ingenuity.

“I hope he does, to be fair I have no idea how she plans on making it do that but she’s done some amazing stuff.” She showed you some of the stuff that other people have requested.

“Maybe you could have one done too, to represent Loki.”

“Do you think he’d like it? I mean… what would I even do?” you wondered, thinking back to all of Loki’s outfits on Asgard. It was all leather, worn to protect him in battle at a moment’s notice, or formal for a political or social event.

“I’m sure you’ll find out what he likes once he gets used toEarth. Plus you getting more outfits and stuff will give you a sense of what he might like,” she said believing that that would be a big help. “Maybe even going out shopping with him might help”

Immediately, heat rose to your cheeks. “Uh, yeah. That’s a possibility. I’ll definitely think about Isabelle making me something. Thank you for showing me this place. It’s fabulous,” you said just as Isabelle came back.

“I don’t have green diamonds or jade but I did find this emerald one.” She lifted the garter and let the light hit it just right. “If you really like the diamond cut I could dye it and have it ready in an hour.” She handed you the band for you to look closely at.

You chewed it over, examining both. “I think I really love the emerald one. It’s so unique. I’ll take it, and these,” you said, holding up your ensemble.

“Great! Let’s get you checked out then, and since Shannon brought you here the garter is on the house.” She smiled at you as turned to Shannon. “As you can see I’m almost done with this piece and the last of the bottom half it should be done by the end of this week,” she assured her.

“Thank you so much for today, Isabelle,” Shannon told her. The three women walked back to the front of the store to get your things nicely wrapped and put away. “Now on to getting you some heels.”

“I think I know just the kind,” you stated with a coy grin.

The two of you got everything paid for and packed, and walked out the door, going a few storefronts down to a high end shoe store. Being with Shannon was actually nice in more than one way. People recognized her as the future Mrs. Stark. The woman on the front of every social magazine, in every celebrity coverage. She made accomplishments on her own constantly in her field of work, and now her engagement to Tony. It certainly made you blend into the background, which was sperfect. You didn’t need anyone remembering who you were or what you’d done.

You leaned over and told Shannon exactly what you wanted. “I want shiny pumps. Closed toe or peep toe are fine. But I want shiny,” you emphasized.

“Shiny as in glitter or like glossy pumps?” She looked up both types for you to see. “I think either one would work for the ensemble you have.”

“Glossy,” you clarified.

“Okay let’s see what we can find.”

Immediately, you two went in different directions. It was how you always shopped, covering as much ground as possible in the quickest time. A strategy the two of you had developed over years of work, and now it was like second nature. In no time, you had three pairs you wanted to try, and Shannon had two. A sales associate showed you to an area to try them each on. In the end, you found a pair for $500 that you really liked, that were perfect. The shoe was glossy black, but the heel sparkled with encrusted black crystals of various sizes.

“That pair looks amazing!” Shannon said. “Try them on. I wanna see how you look in them.” She pointed at a chair for you to sit in.

You did as instructed, strapping into the stilettos. You twisted your foot about before standing up, showing her each side. “What do you think? I think they’re perfect but, as always, I want your honest opinion.”

“This looks cute but I think that it would be better for like going clubbing than for that night.” She looked at the shoes now that you were wearing them. “But then again maybe if I see the heels with the outfit it’ll work,” she thought out loud about it.

You made a face. “You think? Well, do you want me to put on the outfit here or...?” you wondered.

“I’m sure if I asked we could get a private place so you can see all of them with the outfit,” she suggested. “That's if you wanted to though.”

“Sure. It shouldn’t take too long, and I want to make sure they go just right,” you stated.

“Then let’s get this, girl!” She walked away and got someone to give them one of the private areas to try the shoes on.  “Now let’s see which one of these shoes goes great with your new outfit.”

You nodded and slipped into the delicate ensemble, including your new favorite garter. Carefully, you sat and put on the first few pairs that weren’t your favorites, just to ultimately rule them out. You were hoping that Shannon could see how the other heels dulled in comparison with your favorites.

“I think that all the ones we found aren't the best option,” she said, seeing how they weren’t popping. “The only ones that work are the ones you picked, especially the ones with the encrusted black crystals,” she hummed

“Yay!” you all but squealed. You ran to hug her. “I think so too! I know he’s just gonna love these,” you stated with pure delight as you tore them off and dropped them back in the box. In haste, you undressed from your lingerie and slipped back into street clothes.

The two of you went to the cashier and paid for the expensive shoes. You turned to Shannon.

“What next?” you wondered, excited. “I’ve got all my lingerie, food for dinner. So… what now?”

“What are you missing for the apartment?” she asked now that they were done with those things.

“Some things for Loki. Razor, shaving cream, guy stuff. You know? I want it to feel like his space too. Not just a bunch of my shit crammed in there since college,” you noted. “Would it be possible to install the system that showed us Asgard, into one of the rooms in the apartment?” you wondered. “Other than that, I think Loki needs his own nightstand, maybe a lamp, oh, some of my favorite books for sure…” You prattled on about some things he might want.

While you named everything that was missing Shannon set about making a list so you two could get the stuff at an Ikea. She knew that the system with Asgard would be super quick to install and she could get that done while the apartment gets its final touches done.

“Alright. let’s go grab the last of the things and some dinner and head back to the apartment,” she told you as the trunk was closed after putting the bags away. “Let’s head over to Ikea and get the nightstand the lamp and a bookshelf for your books.”

“Sounds perfect,” you remarked.

Quickly, the two of you ran to Ikea, and you grabbed everything you needed from a new shower curtain, to a bookshelf, to nightstands. After that, you and Shannon grabbed pizza from your favorite place with a couple of 2 liters and headed to the apartment. You wolfed down the food and then you two sat to work. Hours of work poured into building furniture, taking down old decor, putting up new, and getting the fridge and pantry stocked.

Not to mention, tons of girl talk in between. Secrets and gossip shared about Tony and Loki. Little things you had forgotten to mention about Asgard. Funny things about the Avengers Shannon had encountered. You even talked about work, complaining about conundrums you found, which was nice to feel like a contributing member of society again with a real job and real complaints.

Before you knew it, the night had flown by and it was three am before the two of you passed out on your bed. In a few short hours, your alarm went off, waking you up to the day for your beloved to finally be free alongside you, marking a brand-new, hopefully happy, chapter in your lives. 

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